Doctor Who The Devil’s Chord

Commission for @ghostofnoir ♥️♥️♥️

Sorry, I could never be a capitalist, I suffer from “wanting humans to have their basic needs met” disorder, where I care about people who aren’t me.

Someone once asked me if, assuming we got universal healthcare, I would be okay with the rise in “healthcare tourism” where people who are sick come to our country to get their medical bills taken care of and life-saving medical treatment cheaper than in their home countries. I was just like, yeah thats fine, I’d actually prefer it if 0 people died from preventable causes kept behind a paywall for no reason.

“even the addicts?” yeah dude did i fucking stutter

Middle-aged magical girl.

She's been defending the Earth since the early 90s and she's very tired.

My name is Tominaga Haruka. I was chosen by a magical talking animal, and for the last 29 years I've been Earth's one and only... Wonder-Sparkle Princess.

she's been fighting the same villains for three decades and they are also tired of it. Most of them aren't giving it their all. Half of them are in a groupchat they've added her to where they schedule their evil plans to make sure they don't interfere with each other, or more importantly, with *her* Xalkrax the space demon from outer space decided to attack the city when she was taking her vacation time once, and now he's dead, because even the power of friendship and redemption can't save you if you interrupt her rare vacations

Demon Queen Eluria: Gonna fill the city people's hearts with hatred on thursday to cause mayhem and discord.

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: Can't, got a PTA meeting.

Demon Queen Eluria: Friday?

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: A birthday party.

Demon Queen Eluria: Damn. How about I fill just the mayor's heart with hatred then?

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: That'd be redundant, lol. Maybe fill his heart with a desire to fix the fucking potholes?!

Demon Queen Eluria: LMFAO love you, bitch. Stay strong.

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: You too, gurl. How's the husband? Still dead?

Demon Queen Eluria: Yep. Thanks for that, btw.

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: Don't mess with my time off :p

Why are people tagging this '#wonder sparkle princess' like that's a thing and not a name I made up exclusively for this post?

Congratulations on inventing a new tumblr deity!!

She isn't 29 years old. She's been a magical girl for 29 years. If she started at 14 (typical magical girl protagonist age) then she'd be 43.

Assigned magic girl at birth

impatience

Harry paces within the narrow confines of the charm. “One more hour.”

Malfoy swallows. Harry can’t bear to look at him. 

“It’s like I’m burning up on the inside,” Malfoy says softly. “Like I’m going to die if I don’t–” 

Harry can’t let him finish that sentence. “No one has ever died from…” The wanting probably won’t kill him–he’s almost certain–but the embarrassment might. “... From not having sex.” 

“Shows what you know, Potter,” Malfoy says prissily, and it’s not helping at all, hearing him talk.

Harry casts about for a distraction. “Think about something else. Think about… Umbridge.” 

“Eurgh.” Then Malfoy says, slowly, “Do you remember in fifth year, when I caught your little club?” 

“Yeah.” This actually is helping. Harry focuses on the anger he’d felt then.

“I finally had you where I wanted you. And–I took your wand. I remember how it felt, holding it. It’s longer than mine.” 

Oh no. “Malfoy,” Harry says warningly. 

“I thought to myself, Harry Potter is entirely at my mercy. I could do anything to him.”

Harry stops pacing. He turns around. Malfoy’s sitting straight up, eyes pinning Harry in place. 

“What would you have done?”

Malfoy rises to his feet. He takes a single step closer, and the final, pathetic thread of Harry’s control snaps.

“Hey you know that stock photo we modelled for years and years ago?”

“Yeah?”

“I think it made us into celebrities”

there's such a massive history with doctor who and it hit me lately that the sensation of seeing that the companions and doctors you watched in real-time have become the past is a sensation every fan has felt for 60 years. at some point people missed jon pertwee and could remember watching him recently, even though tom baker was on tv as the doctor now and they liked him too. and nowadays we miss rose tyler and martha jones and amy pond and clara oswald and donna noble and tennant and smith and capaldi like those people missed baker when davison took the stage. like people missed ace and wondered if the show would ever come back, and then got excited and still felt it wasn't quite the same when eccleston was announced. like. it feels so recent, like just yesterday rose saw the tardis for the first time, but that was twenty years ago. feels like the doctor just made the speech in 'the rings of akhaten' and that was a decade ago. clara is gone, amy is gone. peter capaldi went from gray to white. and the show is going on and children will think of ncuti gatwa and millie gibson and huge white tardis corridors when they think of doctor who in the future. to them, david tennant is already what tom baker is to us. this story has a huge legacy. when you're watching doctor who, it ironically begins to feel like you're making history just by watching it.

Moffat getting more and more angry as he gets older and I'm loving it.

I'm gonna say it.

It's unhinged to assume that someone's taste in fiction equates to what they believe is moral or good, or is something they want to see or experience in real life.

That is a bonkers assumption to make.

I'm tired of humoring people with long arguments about it when the simple fact is it is a totally fucking absurd reach to accuse someone who enjoys something in fiction of being in favor of it in real life.

I'm tired of pretending like this is a legitimate position to hold-- that they should be afraid of fiction's dire influence on a reader's moral decay or that it's a sign of what the author secretly wants for realsies in real life.

I love to read and write about crimes and drugs and stuff but that doesn't mean I'm going to do those things or that I believe those things are right

some people need to ( for lack of a better word ) educate themselves and gain some common sense man

I write fics about monstrous, human-devouring vampires.

I'm vegan.

I write X-rated kinkfic.

I'm ace.

I write evil, war crime-committing villains who callously kill thousands of people.

I'm a doctor and a pacifist.

Fiction is my place to explore everything I don't want in real life. That's what fiction is for.

Reblog if you spend a normal and not at all concerning amount of time thinking about how Nine would’ve simply ripped both universes apart to get to Rose- and would’ve kicked his own ass if he could’ve seen how Ten treated not only Rose, but Martha as well.

He probably would’ve said “I love you” before Rose TBH.

Because same. It’s normal amount.

but with him there, everything else fades away

drarry doodles below the cut <333

Absolutely bonkers that I'm now one of those weirdos you hear about on Twitter

I committed to the bit so hard that I also committed misdemeanor impersonation of a government official

one of my favorite things about my job that i can say to people that sounds utterly ridiculous but is technically 100% true is that one of our sea turtles keeps trying to get me to commit a felony on her behalf and gets SUPER cranky when i won’t do it

this is because she is spoiled rotten and LOVES head and shell scritches. every time i go to the tank she’s in to collect water samples while she happens to be awake and swimming near the surface, she sees my hand enter the water and immediately comes over to try and get my attention, headbutting the dive platform and splashing water at me and generally making a huge fuss.

unfortunately, because she is also a ~100yr old green sea turtle, i legally cannot touch her. she’s a protected species, and a fairly prominent individual at that, and im not one of the aquarists who dives into that tank NOR am i a vet, so i’m not among the handful of people who are ALLOWED to give her scratchies. she knows all of the divers personally, and knows that i am not one of them. she doesn’t care. she wants attention and because she’s the specialest princess in the entire universe she will do anything in her power to get it.

she also throws a big ol tantrum when i end up not petting her. she’ll stick up her head to snort water at me, slap at the platform and ladder with her fins, and then swim under the dive platform and bump her shell against the bottom — she’s a 500lb turtle, which is a lot of weight for her to be throwing around. i usually have to move pretty quick to get off the platform and onto solid ground cuz there have been times where i’ve genuinely felt like i was about to lose my balance and REALLY didn’t want to end up falling into the tank.

^ myrtle, throwing a tantrum because she was unsuccessful at peer pressuring me into violating the endangered species act

The Final Game

Somewhere Remus is scolding Sirius for betting too much money. BUT CONGRATULATIONS TO MY SLYTHERINS

Harry Potter:

- Last picture on Instagram: (8:45pm last night) Draco curled up on the sofa in nothing but one of Harry’s baggy sweaters that falls past his thighs, glass of wine in one hand, middle finger held up for the camera with the other, trademark pout in place. Caption: “My demure boyfriend ❤️️”

- Last Snapchat sent to Draco: (9:15am this morning) Empty conditioner bottle in the trashcan. Caption: “I literally only just bought you this three days ago.”

- Last Snapchat received from Draco: (9:23am this morning) Selfie with the Marilyn Monroe filter. Caption: “Did you think my hair looks this good with just shampoo and water?”

- Last link shared on Facebook: (3:10pm this afternoon) Buzzfeed Quiz What’s Your Biggest Kink in Bed? Result: Bondage. Caption: “WTF, how’d they know?!”  Comments: Ron - mate… TMI Pansy - Question is, Potter, are you the one doing the tying up or the one being tied up? Ron - please don’t answer that, Harry. Hermione - I second that; don’t answer her. Harry - guys, chill… Pansy Parkinson, wouldn’t you like to know???? (P.S. I do the tying up, Draco hasn’t told you?) Draco - I am literally going to kill you, Harry Potter.

(Companion to this)

omg not to sound needy but I would sell my organs to see both these illustrated wtf