"Listen," one guard said, "I know we have only just met-"

"No," the other guard said, "we've worked together for years!"

"-but you can trust me when I say-"

"I can't, you have the curse that's opposite from mine!"

"I don't care for you at all."

"Well, I… oh… I love you too."

i dont make comics often but this was too cute.

I love watching dvds... bc the little commercials beforehand will be like "coming to you spring 2008!" like man. I can't wait for 2008

New chapter of Fisheye Placebo is out!

You can read the entire comic here Yuumeiart.com/fisheye-placebo

just a smooch

A spoon's only objective in life is to make soup go upwards, and it knows this. That's why when you put one under a running tap it blasts the water way high. The spoon thinks there's suddenly TONS of soup to deal with and it freaks out.

people will hear you talk about struggling with mental illness and say “you can do anything if you just put your mind to it”. brother what part of the body does the mental illness happen in. what do you think is the problem

“Lift with your legs you idiot!”

“I have a BROKEN TIBIA! That needs support and time to recover!”

ADHD, also known as Can't Put Your Mind To Things Disease,

Don’t leave these in the tags

I knew having Redditors cross-train on Tumblr would produce weird fucking magic.

It gets better. This Redditor went the full Goncharov.

Glorbcharov: Dishonor Among AI Thieves

Y’all missed the best part:

Category 5 Glup Shitto event

Original reddit thread with archive link to article

Thread about IMDb, and archive links for the cast list, Warcraft (2016) image, Dragonflight model, Glorbo's quote, Glorbo's IMDb, Warcraft (2016)

I knew having Redditors cross-train on Tumblr would produce weird fucking magic.

It gets better. This Redditor went the full Goncharov.

Glorbcharov: Dishonor Among AI Thieves

Y’all missed the best part:

Category 5 Glup Shitto event

"Yield." (from King's Rising by C.S. Pacat)

Doll Harry has become an important part of the Malfoy household it seems.

Part 1

homoeroticism

; FISH !??? 😟

I'm sorry

‎ I felt. a moment of bravery

June 1st is the Children Protection Day.

"Indeed, when he applied to become an astronaut, he failed on the first attempt. Part of the test featured the famous Rorschach ink-blots psychiatric exam. “I leafed through a whole series of them, and then the last one was a blank sheet of paper, pure white, eight by 10,” he once recalled. “I was asked what I could see. And I said, ‘Well, of course, that’s 11 polar bears fornicating in a snow bank.’ And I could see the examiner’s eyes kind of tighten. He didn’t think that was funny.”"

I don’t think any movie will make me feel the same ethereal sense of otherworldly sorrow and disembodied awe as that scene in Lord of the Rings where the loyal son is sent off into a doomed battle to please his vindictive father while Pippin sings a mourning song of his people

I was like 12 and high off this shit

These movies CHANGED ME

This is one of my favourite parts of the whole trilogy. It’s haunting.

And that Pippin takes actually a happy walking song of his people, because Hobbit songs are generally happy and about food and drink and gifts and things, and *transforms* it into a mourning song.

The song is from Fellowship, before all the heavy plot hits and they’re still in the Shire. It’s about walking, and how eventually all the bad things that scare or sadden you will fade away and you’ll be home warm by the fire.

And Pippin takes it, changes the lines, the key, and sings a song that is truly fit for Denethor’s great hall.

Knowing Billy Boyd gave his own melody to it and everyone had chills after hearing him sing it. This is how you get actors involved with the story and character, this is how amazingly well these films were cast. Fans have been singing that haunting tune in echoing halls and caves and towers for 20 years now and it never loses its beauty.

And even better: Billy Boyd composed the tune to the song and then performed it for Peter Jackson and everyone else while filming. They only did one take! That very first take is the one that’s used in the film! He’s just that good!!

Every now and then I like to pull up this video of Billy Boyd being endearing and silly and choked up about Boromir’s death scene, and then performing this song upon request:

I sing it as a lullaby to my children but I use the original “away shall fade” to make it less sad because they’re just babies. uwu

Not even my fandom and I have chills.

You know what, I’m not done. Every aspiring writer should watch that scene and keep in mind the axiom “every person is the protagonist in their own mind,” because Denethor and Pippin are having TWO ENTIRELY DIFFERENT CONVERSATIONS.

Here’s the translation of how it goes.

WHAT DENETHOR SAYS: can you sing, Master Hobbit?

WHAT DENETHOR MEANS: I want entertainment and you’re from far lands. That’s a novelty here.

WHAT PIPPIN HEARS: I don’t care that I just sent my son to his death. Entertain me.

WHAT PIPPIN SAYS: yes. Well, well enough for my own people. But we have no songs fit for great halls.

WHAT PIPPIN MEANS: yes. But not for you. And our songs aren’t for people who engage in such cruelty.

WHAT DENETHOR HEARS: yes, but I’m embarrassed because mine are simple folk, and you’re very grand and regal. There’s no way I could be of any use to you.

WHAT DENETHOR SAYS: and why should your songs be unfit for my halls? Sing me a song.

WHAT DENETHOR MEANS: we’re all equals culturally. I’m a benevolent ruler, I don’t think your songs are inferior to those produced by my skilled musicians. Let me engage with your culture.

WHAT PIPPIN HEARS: I have literally already forgotten about my son. I’m more interested in entertainment and food, things you normally adore and which I’m making a mockery of by my actions. So sing to me songs of those things you love, entertainment and food. My son doesn’t matter to me and shouldn’t matter to you.

And then Pippin sings.

WHAT DENETHOR HEARS: what a pretty little song.

WHAT PIPPIN IS SAYING WITH THE SONG: fuck you for doing this to your son, who I love. Fuck you for doing this to me, as I mourn. Fuck you for making a mockery of the things I love, when it’s clear you don’t care for them any more than you do for YOUR SON. Your child, who you should want to protect. If you won’t mourn in these halls, by everything I hold dear I swear SOMEONE will.

Pippin can’t say any of this out loud. But his word choices are extremely deliberate. And so are Denethor’s! He does not see himself as a bad person! I don’t know enough LOTR to know if he’s a villain or just an asshole, but the important thing here is HE THINKS OF HIMSELF AS NEITHER. He’s a good guy who’s had to make some hard choices, that’s all. It’s the editing that tells you he’s not actually that at all.

This is a MASTERCLASS in “everyone is their own protagonist” and if this is the standard the movies rise to all the time I understand why y’all love them so much, because holy shit. That’s incredible.

When I was a kid one of my moms would call her period "moon time" or "her monthlies" or shit like that and my other mom straight up stealthed it, but when I'm a dad I think I'm gonna go straight down the middle and call it Werewolf Week. Like sorry kids, dad can't roughouse right now, it's Werewolf Week

"one of my moms"

*points finger*

child of lesbiabs

I actually have six parents and three moms total but they're all straight as far as I'm aware

Polyamorous parents or divorce?

Turbo divorce

What the heck is a turbo divorce?

It's when you end up with six parents

i know an engineer-type dude who said fiction bored him, because fiction is mostly-formulaic and tropey, and you can generally guess what’s gonna happen next, and yada yada

so his solution for this problem was… to solely read serial web novels in languages that (1) he did not speak, and (2) for which there was no actual translation, fan or otherwise

apparently, the combined forces of “trying to figure out WTF is going on via the power of Google Translate" + “cultural differences in storytelling conventions” + “the inherent randomness of where the hell amateur authors are gonna take their plots”—those all mashed up to make stories that were unpredictable enough to keep him guessing all the time

then he described to me this totally batshit-sounding Hungarian story he’d been obsessively reading once a week for years

and god i think about him all the time.  like.  that is the most wild way to process fiction that i have ever heard of, but also, i’ve gotta admire the sheer chaos energy of it

like i tried to tell him suspense isn’t about having no fucking clue what’s going on, it’s about having expectations subverted in novel and interesting ways that nonetheless accord with one’s understanding of the story’s universe, etc

and he’s just like “no.  suspense is when i cannot guess what is happening next, full stop.  quantum physics is a suspense novel”