you dont know true competition until youre one of the last two people in musical chairs
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#humor #punsMore you might like
How To Defeat A Sphinx
Sphinx: You must solve my riddle, or die.
Me: Alternate option: You endure ten minutes of my best puns or give me the treasure.
Sphinx: (smug) Foolish human, you have doomed yourself. I am the king of verbal sparring. Begin.
Me: Okay, but you don’t know the catastrophe you’ve brought down on your head.
Sphinx: … Was that a cat pun.
Me: It’s pawsible.
Sphinx: Because I am part feline.
Me: I would be lion if I said no.
Sphinx: (eye twitch) I thought you said these were your best puns.
Me: These are purrfect puns! Don’t throw a hissy fit just because you inclawrectly infured a claws in the agreement. I gave you an oppurrtunity and you pounced on it, so you can’t say the game’s unpharaoh now. And if you were half the man you think you are, you wouldn’t be in deNile about the Tutuncommon supurriority of my puns. You’re kitten yourself if you thought I’d just Moses on into your stomach without a catfight. Are you scarab yet? Because I can tail these till the great river runs dry–
Sphinx: Oh my Ra stop stop stop here just take it!!!
—–
Other Nonsense:
How To Console A Leprechaun
How To Confound A Centaur
How To Work With Fairies
How To Deal With Goblins
And a bunch more on the How To Guides for Mythical Creatures Masterlist!
i nearly killed someone like this once
the chair games
may the chairs be ever in your favor
game of thrones
The Running of the Puns
okay here is the joke that’s only funny if you knit, I’m sorry
BONUS:
(…you go rip-it, rip-it)
(THERE’S A LOT OF TERRIBLE PUNS IN CRAFTING)
I am a connoisseur of puns, whatever form they come in.
These are puns
These are visual puns
I….holy crap. These are AMAZING
Puns
This is Kjell Lindgren. He’s a NASA astronaut who just got back from 5 months on the International Space Station. There are two reasons why this picture is hilarious:
- His wife is flawless and makes bad space puns to make him do household chores.
- I have that shirt. Thousands of people have that shirt. That shirt is available at Target. Which means actual astronaut Kjell Lindgren, with his wardrobe already full of NASA-issued and logo-emblazoned clothes, was at Target, saw a NASA shirt, and was like, “Yes, I am buying this because this is what I want to spend my actual astronaut salary on.”
tl;dr NASA employs a bunch of nerds
It gets better.
Courtesy of Wikipedia, here’s the poster NASA released for his mission to the ISS:
I have just become an official fan of NASA because they are FULL OF MY PEOPLE
comic #1904: hog
He hates being blind-sided by puns.
Reblogging for his face in the last panel. XD 10 POINTS TO BRYTNING
Hello welcome to tumblr, our currency is primarily reblogs and enragingly clever puns.
