So ‘Sisyphus’ was trending on Twitter and it was just Classics jokes!
I heard my brother say he was going to dairy queen so I suck into his car and he has no idea I’m in here
he asked his friend what he wanted and I popped up from the floor ‘I was thinking about a milkshake’ I have never heard two teenage boys scream louder
The Lion King: It is impossible to CGI photorealistic lions who can also emote!
Chronicles of Narnia:
i am so angry about how perfect this gif is.
My coworker Mike just started cracking up. Informed us someone was trying to make a test Outlook group at work and seems to have accidentally made it a real Outlook group.
Everyone added to the group is named Mike.
Creator of the group isn’t online yet but the Mikes are coming online in droves.
“Why was I added to this group? What do I have in common with all these other Mikes?” -one of the Mikes
“Ah, so this is Mikerosoft” (<- you’re never gonna guess what company I work for)
One Mike has suggested this is an effort by the group-creator to hunt Mikes for sport
Coworker (Mike T.) has informed us he had a meeting earlier today, and among the participants one person was missing (Mike S.) Current theory is first Mike casualty had occurred. More will follow.
Current suggestion is we attempt to add a non-Mike to the group, to test its security.
Coworker Alex: "Alex log, day 207. The Mikes have started to accept me as one of their own."
Delighted to inform you the group creator is not a Mike at all. It is apparently some guy named Ashton.
[ID: Ask from Anonymous that says:
I can't decide which is funnier, the group creator being a fellow Mike or the group creator being a non-Mike. end ID.]
If we’re going to solve this murder together, you’re gonna have to learn to trust my hunches and let me charge into situations without any forethought.
Well, what do you know! Just when things took a bad turn, your uptight rule following nature saved my neck and grabbed us a new lead. Maybe we DO work well together after all.
You know, I act brash and untouchable, but I really have a vulnerable side. The whole reason I’m so set on solving murders is to make up for failing my dead loved one and get them to finally say they are proud of me.
I am so glad that the trust between us has built to the point where I can share this with you.
How could you do this!? The murderer, who I have every reason to trust, has show me that security tape which was totally in context and had no deceptive editing whatsoever. I know you have been using me, planning to throw me under the bus, and might have even been the real murderer this whole time!
This partnership is over and it will never be repaired.
Umm… hey, buddy. So… it occurs to me I might have been a jerk before. Actually it occurred to me that I was wrong when I found Definitive Evidence that the murderer was the murderer the whole time. Sorry.
Anyway… rushed in. Did what I do. Got kind of shot. Mainly just calling you to let you know about the whole definitive evidence thing. Apologize. Heartfelt goodbye. I am very shot.
It’s also an obvious trap, so I’m really glad you’re way too level-headed and rules-followy to come after me.
Oh, you idiot.
thinking about when my friend found a liturgical book from the 70s with truly some of the most insane prayers I have ever heard
boating is so funny like what do you mean we’re literally at sea and i’m in charge of steering us and everyone’s lives are in my hands like in the OCEAN??? the thing the ancient mariner was talking about???? where frankenstein’s monster lives????
My grandma had this sweatshirt, and let me tell you, it did not work.
...but she did make it to 103, so clearly it helped.
speculative fiction writers i am going to give you a really urgent piece of advice: don't say numbers. don't give your readers any numbers. how heavy is the sword? lots. how old is that city? plenty. how big is the fort? massive. how fast is the spaceship? not very, it's secondhand.
the minute you say a number your readers can check your math and you cannot do math better than your most autistic critic. i guarantee. don't let your readers do any math. when did something happen? awhile ago. how many bullets can that gun fire? trick question, it shoots lasers, and it shoots em HARD.
you are lying to people for fun. if you let them do math at you the lie collapses and it's no fun anymore.
Superpower Prompt:
- Choose one normal trait (strength, endurance, sight, hearing, singing, math, just anything a standard human can DO).
- You are now connected with everyone in the USA who shares your first name.
- Your power in the trait you chose becomes a small point stronger for each person with that name.
I now have over 1,500,000 points of endurance. I can run around the whole dang world and swim the ocean!!! Take that, unique baby names!!! 8D
(I even found a handy site that can calculate this number for you! Also, DO NOT SHARE YOUR NAME FOR THIS GAME! Just the closest rounded number! Internet safety is important!!!)
1.4 million points of computer programming. I am the AI revolution.
