Since these have gotten somewhat popular (Popularity? In MY posts? It’s more likely than you think! 8O), I’ve decided to make a convenient masterlist for sharing on my Tumblr homepage, link up by the header. They’re listed oldest to newest and I’ll update them as new ones come out! For instance, I have one in mind for werewolves next, we’ll see how that goes XD

And hey, if you have a mythical creature you’re interested in seeing a guide for, maybe toss it my way. ;) You never know what ideas I might get!

Meanwhile, here’s the current list (this particular post will NOT be updated):

How To Deal With Goblins
How To Work With Fairies
How To Defeat A Sphinx
How To Confound A Centaur
How To Console A Leprechaun
How To Pitch To Minotaurs
How To Vex A Vampire
How To Play With Dragons
How To Charm A Medusa
How To Thwart A Kelpie
How To Handle A Harpy

Monstober 2: The Goblin
(Previous: The Adventurer)

Well, here he is, the very first guest star in my How To Guides for Mythical Creatures! I wrote this as a one-off because I was thinking about all the odd “secrets” I have that are only secrets because they don’t ever come up in conversation. XD Then my friend @reddpenn​ reblogged it on her cool rock blog and I came home to a startling number of notes. Things have petered off with the most recent posts, but I still have fun writing these. And it all started with this guy! :D

I’ve never designed a goblin before, but I’m not a fan of the usual hideous stock depiction, so he came out looking like he COULD be trustworthy. Maybe.

Tomorrow: the Fairy!

Leprechaun: Ye’ve sought the wrong pot o’ gold, human! Now if ye wish to escape me magic, ye must complete THREE impossible tasks o’ me choosin’!

Me: (Braces self) Okay, hit me with ‘em.

Leprechaun: FIRST… Ye must properly put a fitted sheet on this king-sized bed… ON THE FIRST TRY!

Me: (recoils in horror, pauses) Wait, why do you have a king-sized—

Leprechaun: SECOND… ye must match the pairs to TWO HUNDRED SOCKS in yon laundry pile!

Me: ……

Leprechaun: AND THIRD… ye must wash this MOUNTAIN O’ DISHES wit’out breakin’ a single—

Me: (raises hand) Um, question – do you just need help with your chores or something?

Leprechaun: ……………….. (tears up suddenly) Look, Ah just need a wee break, we ‘ave twenty-six kids and they’re all monsters, ye know, metaphorically and a few literally, and Ah’m just SO strung out right now—

Me: (pats small shoulder) Hey, hey, it’s okay. How about I do those dishes while you put your feet up, huh? You can tell me about it later over toast.

Leprechaun: (sniffling) Thank ye, that’s very kind, and perhaps a spot o’ tea if ye can find the pot in this mess.

—–

Other Nonsense:

How To Play With Dragons
How To Vex A Vampire
How To Pitch To Minotaurs
How To Confound A Centaur
And a bunch more on the How To Guides for Mythical Creatures Masterlist!

Skeleton: (rattles aggressively) 

Me: Aw dangit, bones? I wasn’t prepared for this, bone puns are hard. 

Skeleton: (rattles more aggressively) 

Me: (flipping through Google) Hang on, I can do this. Just let me bone up on my medical terms. 

Skeleton: (visibly winces) 

Me: Okay, I am impressed you can wince without skin, and yes I know that was bad. But I don’t know why you have a bone to pick with me anyway. Tibia honest, I don’t clavicle all day; I femur schedule is tight, so keep a wide radius or I’ll have to get sternum with you— 

Skeleton: (RATTLES ANGRILY)  

Me: Sheesh, everyone’s a critic. HERE, BOY!!!

(excited barking in the distance) 

Skeleton: !!! (rattles away VERY QUICKLY)

Me: “Tibia honest” was a good one, though! I deserve credit for that! (pauses) …“Don’t diss my mad skulls” dangit that would have been PERFECT.

—-

(Thanks to @insightsfromagameplayer for suggesting skeletons! This one is way too close to reality, I just really wanted to use that tibia pun and decided to own the fact all my other bone puns were terrible XD) 

Other Nonsense:

How To Discourse With Dwarves
How To Sting A Siren
How To Disgruntle A Pegasus
How To Evict a Dryad

Or visit The How To Guide For Mythical Creatures Masterlist!

1. M.E.

Hey so ya’ll know those How To Guides for Mythical Creatures I write occasionally?

I want to comicify them eventually, and the first step is trying to design our main character, our intrepid adventurer, the face behind these random encounters: M.E. Honestly, after the first few, I mostly stopped seeing this character as actual me, and she took on a life of her own. XD I haven’t decided what the initials stand for yet, I’ll get back to you! 

(EDIT: Okay we are going with “Mythic Expert” everyone!)

I wanted a fun mix of modern and classic adventurer attire. I think the chainmail under her tshirt ended up being my favorite touch. Would be fun to add a cheesy design to her shirt, though. My idea for the comics is that she will start out dressed pretty normally and slowly acrue more and more random adventurer gear as the comics go by. This would probably be here about 10-12 guides in.

Me: So pegasi are related to horses, right?

Pegasus: I mean, obviously. We’re far above average horses in wit and majesty, though.

Me: Oh yeah, no question. But how about other equine races? If they’re part horse, that means they’re also related to horses, so they’re kinda related to you, too, right?

Pegasus: (considering wicker) Well, yes. They can’t fly, of course, but our shared horse form does elevate them as superior creatures.

Me: So, unicorns? Hippocampus? Kelpies? Centaurs?

Pegasus: (impatient) Yes, yes, yes, and yes. Is there a point to this?

Me: I’m just considering how centaurs are half horse, half man.

Pegasus: ……..

Me: Which, by the logic we’re working with here, means humans are related to centaurs.

Pegasus: Don’t say it—

Me: And if humans are related to centaurs and centaurs are related to pegasi—

Pegasus: I SAID I am NOT lending you money!

Me: But we’re practically cousins!

—-

(A/N: I don’t have anything against horses, but man, the equine creatures keep being so fun to annoy. XD)

Other Assorted Nonsense:

How To Bribe A Gryphon
How To Annoy A Unicorn 
How to Discourse With Dwarves
How to Sting a Siren
Or click here for the How To Guides for Mythical Creatures Masterlist!

How To Play With Dragons

Thanks to everyone who voted for the fan favorite of my How To Guides for Mythical Creatures!

Keep reading

Monstober 5: The Centaur

Yes I am REALLY behind XD; But I have not give up! I SHALL design all of the characters from my How To Guides For Mythical Creatures!

This one is still one of my favorites. XD I love the consternation. Also I seem to keep drawing my centaur dudes in flannel.