Being a Fanfic Writer made me a better Reader (an essay nobody asked for)
In my childhood I always disliked the acknowledgments and bonus material at the end of a book. I didn't care who helped you with the book, I don't know any face to these names, I am not mentioned, why do I even bother reading the acknowledgments?
I didn't. Not purely out of selfish disinterest but also because I was still caught up in a different universe, I was still feeling all the characters pain and happiness and I wasn't ready to acknowledge that this beautiful book was only that - a book. Written by a person. I wanted it to be real, I wanted the characters to be real and I wanted to live with them in their world.
Reading the acknowledgements meant recognizing the world I had spent hours and days in, wasn't... actually... real. I hated knowing that.
Then I started reading fanfiction and there were Author Notes. In these A/N the writer sometimes tells the most random shit about their day, some thoughts on the story or some background how they had to research to write this specific scene. I was suddenly interested in their life, thoughts and how they got the idea of this fic. I was eager to connect with the writer.
I was suddenly interested, but also wanted to let them know how much I appreciate their writing. So I voted on every chapter, commented all my thoughts on what is happening and had no filter whatsoever. The reactions of the writers made me incredibly happy. Like I did something good.
When I decided to write my own fanfiction I was overwhelmed by all of it. I loved the challenge of writing the characters well, of writing an interesting plot. And when I saw, "Oh, wow. People actually read my story?", I was so happy and excited. When i got votes (basically kudos on wattpad) i was (still am) so grateful. But when the readers let me know how much they feel because of MY writing in the comments - it's a magic that is incomparable for me.
And now, I read the acknowledgments and I am fascinated, how the author started writing, where the idea came from, how they struggled but pulled through.
Not long ago I binge-read a book in less than 24 hours and it wasn't until I read the acknowledgments that I started crying. Why? Because I learned, that the authors were wife & wife and inspired to write that book by their own love story. It was something so beautiful, pure and moving - it hit me somewhere deep inside of me.
Today, I dream of writing my own acknowledgments someday, I dream of thanking my family, my friends, my publisher, my editor and all the other people that helped me writing my own book. I dream of having an interview with someone about my book. I dream of being a published author that moves people.
Until then I will be a tiny fanfic writer that hopefully moves people, too. And I will be a moved reader, eager to learn everything about the writer and their journey.
