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Malewife In Training

@transsexula

Anything and everything I like. 23 | Queer (transman) | He/Him I forget to tag things, sorry 🦇 Ask box is always open! ⭐️ I have a ton of sideblogs
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Please please please reblog this and put in the tags your music recommendations. I’m not talking about big artists and bands either— what’s a niche group, band, or artist that you can’t get enough of? What song or album do you enjoy the most? Why?

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reblogged
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geitonas

i love the way classic american artists draw hair

Someone wondered about POC hair so here are more refs from more artists I like

Artists: Kayla Mahaffey, Jordan Casteel, Ellen Eagle, Norman Rockwell, Jerrel Gibbs

Artists from the first post: J.C. Leyendecker, Norman Rockwell, Albert Dorne

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it's okay to be fat and like to eat. it's okay to be fat and enjoy cooking, baking, grilling, canning, drying or preparing foods. it's okay to be fat and work a restaurant or bakery and enjoy what you do. it's okay to be fat and not ashamed of eating in public. it's okay to be fat, but it's especially okay to be fat and have a positive relationship with food. people are supposed to enjoy eating, it's where we get our energy from, it's a very positive and nourishing experience for our bodies, it's okay if it's positive and nourishing to your mental health, too. fat people are allowed to eat, and we're allowed to enjoy doing it, too.

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unironically one of the funniest things i think ive ever seen on this fucking website and yes im going to reblog this like every other day

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teaboot

A while ago I was talking to my therapist and I told her I was worried that I was creepy and invasive with relationships. She asked me what I meant.

I told her, "Well, when I'm interested in someone, I try and find out what they like, and if it's something I don't like, then I do a bunch of research and write notes and stuff and explore the topic until I find something I *do* like. And I'm worried that that's weird or stalker-y. But like... I've found a bunch of stuff I still enjoy after the interest in them has faded. So is that okay, or is it creepy?"

And she stared at me for a minute before saying, "That sounds very sweet of you, actually"

And so yeah

Self-perception and shit

Did you have some sort of Shitty Parents

You have No Idea

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A lot clicked for me when my mom said the reason she was so reactive towards me as a kid was that she assumed intent behind things I did, rather than recognizing my behaviors for being normal kid behaviors or normal autism behaviors. So I got treated as if I was an adult who was intentionally doing things to upset her. She'd react to me like I had the maturity and wherewithal to do things in a cruel or manipulative way, making her life harder, when I was just existing. Just trying to learn how to cope and be a person myself. When she told me this I stopped in my tracks trying to process. Why would anyone's default assumption be that a kid is trying to antagonize them instead of like, struggling with something they're experiencing? But she was also raised the exact same way, treated like everything she did carried the weight of adult responsibility, not seen as a kid.

As a child therapist who focuses on audhd kids THIS!! So often parents put intent behind kids actions when it’s just “kid trying to feel safe and comfortable”. babies are not trying to “manipulate “ you, kids and teens are just pushing back to figure out the boundaries of their world, if a kid doesn’t like something don’t force it on them. Stop expecting better emotional regulation from your child than you’ve ever shown them.

Stop expecting better emotional regulation from your child than you've ever shown them.

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nondivisable

I need to say something and I need y'all to be calm

if it isn't actively bad or harmful, no representation should be called "too simple" or "too surface level"

I have a whole argument for this about the barbie movie but today I wanna talk about a show called "the babysitters club" on Netflix

(obligatory disclaimer that I watched only two episodes of this show so if it's super problematic I'm sorry) (yes. I know it's based on a book, this is about the show)

this is a silly 8+ show that my 9 year old sister is watching and it manages to tackle so many complex topics in such an easy way. basic premise is these 13 year old girls have a babysitting agency.

in one episode, a girl babysits this transfem kid. the approach is super simple, with the kid saying stuff like "oh no, those are my old boy clothes, these are my girl clothes". they have to go to the doctor and everyone is calling the kid by her dead name and using he/him and this 13 year old snaps at like a group of doctors and they all listen to her. it's pure fantasy and any person versed in trans theory would point out a bunch of mistakes.

but after watching this episode, my little sister started switching to my name instead of my dead name and intercalating he/him pronouns when talking about me.

one of the 13 years old is a diabetic and sometimes her whole personality is taken over by that. but she has this episode where she pushes herself to her limit and passes out and talks about being in a coma for a while because of not recognizing the limits of her disability.

and this allowed my 9 year old sister to understand me better when I say "I really want to play with you but right now my body physically can't do that" (I'm disabled). she has even asked me why I'm pushing myself, why I'm not using my crutches when I complain about pain.

my mom is 50 years old and watching this show with my sister. she said the episode about the diabetic girl helped her understand me and my disability better. she grew up disabled as well, but she was taught to shut up and power through.

yes, silly simple representation can annoy you if you've read thousands of pages about queer liberation or disability radical thought, but sometimes things are not for you.

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leebrontide

Something doesn't always have to be complex to be compassionate, and a compassionate, sincere, straightforward statement can often do as much good as a detailed one.

The intended audience for Babysitters club aren't sitting around making govt policy (yet) but they can sure as hell connect to compassion.

And then listening can really happen.

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