the asexual double edged sword is that a lot of people, particularly queer discoursers(tm) online, are really really rancid about ace people who have sex, I mean like stunningly awful, so naturally sex favorable/indifferent asexuals will be very keen on making sure that they aren't erased within their own community and that people at large know they exist. at the same time, people are also Very Bad about ace people who don't have sex, and sex averse/repulsed asexuals face a lot of pressure both on societal and interpersonal scales to submit to sex that they don't want, and so naturally it'll really rub them the wrong way to constantly have "but don't worry, ace people can still conform to the societal expectation!" appended to their PSAs about their experiences of asexuality. and so everyone's just kinda upset and annoyed all the time when instead it should be peace and love on planet ace.

writing smut like

how many synonyms for “penis” do I actually know?

and how many of those synonyms am I actually willing to use

tier 1 (most accepted, considered sexy): cock, dick

tier 2 (generally accepted): length, manhood, member, shaft

tier 3 (clinical, too formal, but not cheesy): groin, penis, phallus

tier 4 (cheesy, barely acceptable): [insert name] Jr., dong, junk, knob, prick, rod, tool, wand, wood

tier 5 (ridiculous, unacceptable, pls don’t): anything to do with beer cans, baby-maker, bishop, choad, donger, dragon, fuck wand, fun stick, hog, johnson, jimmy, lap rocket, little [insert name], love muscle/rod/stick, meat stick, one-eyed [anything], piston, private eye, schlong, trouser snake, wiener, winkie

tier 6 (you’re literally a fourth grader): baby arm, baloney pony, beaver basher, beef whistle, custard launcher, dude piston, flesh flute, heat-seeking moisture missile, krull the warrior king, luigi, mayo shooting hotdog gun, meter long king kong dong, pig skin bus, piss weasle, purple-headed yogurt flinger, purple-helmeted warrior of love, schlong dongadoodle, single barreled pump action bollock, spawn hammer, steamin’ semen truck, tan banana, thundersword, wang doodle, whoopie stick, wing wang doodle, yogurt shotgun 

tier 3 (clinical,

too formal, but not cheesy):

groin, penis, phallus

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

"i can fix him" ok well i can make him scared of me and hard

Preacher trying to discourage students from having premarital sex

Transcription:

Preacher: She will take you back to your dorm room --

Crowd: (shocked noises)

Preacher: And then, her roommate will jump out of the closet NAKED JAYBIRD!

Crowd: (cheering)

Crowd: THREESOME, THREESOME, THREESOME, THREESOME, THREESOME!

hello, white tumblr user. before you is a serious post by a blogger of color about racism. if you are able to quietly reblog it without adding any bullshit, especially not anything starting with "as a white person-" you will be allowed to go free. the hardest challenge in your entire life begins now

blacksmith x carpenter

aw i found the sequel!! ;U;

A actual fucking hero dude

I’m tempted to say, “Not all heroes wear capes,” but I get the impression this Fine Fellow probably owns more than one.

we should all strive to be like him

sorry i overreacted i had no idea everything would be fine

i love having adult horse girl friends. I’ll send them a 100x100px crunchy ass jpeg of a random brown horse and be like “thought of u🐴” and I can literally feel their sims relationship bar fill up in real time

Rly felt compelled to capture this before bed

i don’t think i posted it but here’s how the horsethey in question responded to this

have a really bad discord sending glitch going on rightnow