fiction and fantasy are so fun because it's like. if i met this man in real life i would drop kick him off a cliff within three seconds of him opening his mouth. luckily for him he doesn't exist so we can all happily ignore those red flags and pretend we could fix him

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

I posted my first thing on ao3! It’s a very short podfic of a hilarious 240 word fanfic.

Please have a listen and tell me what you think!

Direct youtube link

@ineffablechocolatecheesecake I added your art to it! 💖🌈

"We call it vff," said the alien. "It's - it's hard to describe to a species without vffsense. Imagine trying to describe light to a species that never evolved eyes. But there are forms of life that are only perceptible with vffsense, and they've visited Earth and fed on life as long as it's existed here."

There was a pause.

Then the human said, "That's the worst thing you've ever said."

"Don't worry about it."

"I think I have to, now."

"No, because - well - you have a species of spider which pretends to be an ant, correct? It's not capable of understanding the fact that it's mimicking an ant, but it instinctually mimics an ant in order to deter predators."

"Sure?"

"Humans produce a vff to mimic varths, predators only perceptible through vffsense. The organisms that would like to feed on you are terrified of varths, and so they leave you alone. You aren't aware you do it, you don't have the capacity to understand you're doing it, but you evolved to instinctually do it to deter predators you can't see."

There was a pause.

Then the human said in a very soft and thoughtful voice, "And are there varths on Earth?"

"Yes," said the alien. "Everywhere. But don't worry about it."

I find it curious that I’ve read in at least 6 good omens fanfics so far the notion that somehow it is easier/simpler to experience or give pleasure to someone with a penis than someone with a vulva. I’m sure this is not an ineffable fandom idea, it’s just where I’ve encountered it thanks to our man shaped beings who can change their Efforts.

I am truly baffled by this idea. I cannot come up with any explanation for it that doesn’t boil down to oppression (internalized or otherwise). (And yes this either/or framing also erases intersex people).

Am I missing some important information? Because this is starting to piss me off 😅😓

People of any gender or genital configuration can have difficulties: experiencing orgasm, having pain, lacking arousal, etc.

One point of data: I currently have two sprained wrists (which are thankfully healing!) and I can still masturbate because I have vibrating toys that do the work for me. How is that complicated?

(Please avoid transphobia and intersex erasure in the notes!)

I posted my first thing on ao3! It’s a very short podfic of a hilarious 240 word fanfic.

Please have a listen and tell me what you think!

Direct youtube link

@ineffablechocolatecheesecake I added your art to it! 💖🌈

I posted my first thing on ao3! It’s a very short podfic of a hilarious 240 word fanfic.

Please have a listen and tell me what you think!

Direct youtube link

@ineffablechocolatecheesecake I added your art to it! 💖🌈

I posted my first thing on ao3! It’s a very short podfic of a hilarious 240 word fanfic.

Please have a listen and tell me what you think!

Direct youtube link

@ineffablechocolatecheesecake I added your art to it! 💖🌈

We need more female loveable rogue characters.

I don't mean girlboss queens of criminal empires, or 'damaged' girls who are only putting up a tough criminal facade to hide their tragic past, or even terrifying but also sexualised murderers who can kill a man without blinking and look good while doing it.

I mean like… female characters whose primary roles in the main cast are to show up as needed with whatever whacky combination of items the heroes need and some vague excuse about them having "fallen off the back of a lorry".

Female characters who will shadily say "I know a guy" (in the gender neutral sense) when the protags need someone for a specific task, and then when they meet that guy she immediately almost gets murdered because of some ludicrous crime she committed years ago that she assumed they'd be over now.

Female characters who can't fight for shit and have no ability to act as a femme fatale, but do have the charisma/persuasion skills to talk their way out of dangerous situations when needed.

Female characters who have never murdered anyone, and would never consider murdering anyone, but still try to present themselves as some kind of master criminal despite having approximately none of the skills to back that up. And where this is played for laughs rather than as some sort of dramatic reveal.

Just… weasels. Urchins. Conwomen. Tricksters.

All those types of character that get to be comedic and loveable but kinda pathetic when played by a man, but suddenly have to be deadly, sexy, tragic and/or girlboss when played by a woman, because female characters always have to have that extra edge of seriousness to make up for the fatal flaw of being female.

Just let girl characters be fun, for godssake.