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Sarah Wallin Huff

@sjwallin

Composer-Violinist. Also Double Aquarian + Virgo Rising. Autistic. It’s “Wallin Huff,” like “Vaughan Williams” 😉 *See pinned post for commissions!*
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After spending the past six years honing my lectures for my undergraduate upper-division-GE college course, “History of Technology in Music”, I’ve decided to make these lectures available to everyone in the form of a weekly podcast!

New episode every Thursday — Enjoy! ^_^

Find all the links to various platforms and the RSS feed here:

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Pride Collection, coming to the site on 6/2 at 3pm PST! As a queer woman, creating pride flag earrings has been on my bucket list since I started my handmade business! But I wanted to wait until I was ready to truly be publicly out - and this is the year. So hi Tumblr, I'm queer, and here are some queer earrings I made <3

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Presenting “Round Peg Square Hole”…

I’m so thrilled to be able to share this recording of my newest e-violin solo with you (and the sheet music is available, too, for those who’d like to play this themselves)!

Do you ever feel like you don't fit in, no matter how hard you try? As an autistic adult, I'm slowly discovering who I am after over 40 years of intense masking. I'm accepting now that I never have and never will "fit in", and that's ok. :)
This piece is for all those whose minds see the world a little differently from everyone else around them. The "Round Peg" is represented in the circular flow of the triple-based rhythms, and the "Square Hole" is found in the duple-based patterns. Even though the duples are strong, the triples maintain their integrity and still, somehow, manage to flow within the surrounding world.
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Neurotypical Person: "Just talk to people. Stop being afraid of rejection. The only way you'll fail is if you don't even try. Have some confidence."

Autistic Person: (asks whatever questions they can think of from a prepared list and the conversation ends up being awkward and forced)

Autistic Person: (infodumps about their special interest and gets labeled as annoying)

Autistic Person: (comments on something they observe and gets labeled as judgmental)

Autistic Person: (approaches random people in random places, not realizing that there are some places where people don't expect to be approached, and gets threatened)

Autistic Person: (talks to someone, misses a subtle cue that they want to be left alone, and gets labeled as disrespectful of boundaries)

Autistic Person: (tries to join someone's conversation and gets labeled as an eavesdropper)

Autistic Person: (teases someone as a joke because they've seen that that's how a lot of people interact with each other, not realizing that they don't have enough of a connection with this person to do that, and gets labeled as mean)

Autistic Person: (tries to talk to someone who's already talking to someone else and gets labeled as rude for interrupting, and waiting until they're alone to avoid interrupting isn't an option because that rarely ever happens)

Autistic Person: (approaches someone or faces in their general direction while trying to think of what to say to them, and gets labeled as a creep for hovering or staring)

Autistic Person: (talks to someone too often and gets labeled as clingy)

Autistic Person: (talks to someone, by some miracle it works and this person actually enjoys the conversation, but now they have to do it again and again and again, and they eventually run out of things to talk about or do something wrong)

Autistic Person: "I don't get it. I talked to people. I did exactly what I was told to do. And I didn't say anything sexual, anything gross, anything about death, or anything else that would be considered 'obvious'. But it didn't work. It can't be because I did something wrong, because I followed the advice exactly and so many people insisted that that's all I have to do. There must be something wrong with me. Maybe I'm just unattractive."

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