Breakfast At Ralf's

Since the Ceramic Frog thing has regained traction and I’m getting asks, here ya go.

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I am also on bluesky and mastodon as ralfmaximus.

RalfMaximus#1278 on discord.

[email protected]

Come find me!

Hi

The elegant interior can be described as either Art Nouveau or Art Deco. The set of the 1929 American movie “Pleasure Crazed”. I feel that Hiroshi Unno, who passed away, was a writer who was good at talking about such a space.  Text by Masayuki Tsuda

Upright Typewriter, Prototype,, Richard Sapper, 1980

breakfast from when before i eated it

okay. here is my breakfast from before time began

I’m sure he was prepared for it but now that he won the primary. All the racism is doubling down on Zohran. And it’s not surprising but sad to see. Damn if that’s what they think of him what must people like that think about my mama.

People should not feel safe to say this kinda shit

I bet Congressman Brandon Gill eats hamburgers with his hands.

This is the part of the dream where I am running but stuck in place.

Mount Etna, Sicily, 2025

AI art. 🙄

I mean, this is a real photograph of an actual volcanic eruption of Mt. Etna, but the geothermal activity that led to it was absolutely generative AI crap. 😒 ugh stg ppl love AI

Oof. Clarify please... it's a real photo AND it's AI slop?

Ugh. Yeah. The volcano really erupted but all the magma was heated and released using generative AI plate tectonics to force thousands of tons of molten rock up through the earth’s crust just for the lols and it’s like, really can’t we just blow up the moon like normal people ever?!?

I want to mount an expedition into your brain.

Mount Etna, Sicily, 2025

AI art. 🙄

I mean, this is a real photograph of an actual volcanic eruption of Mt. Etna, but the geothermal activity that led to it was absolutely generative AI crap. 😒 ugh stg ppl love AI

Oof. Clarify please... it's a real photo AND it's AI slop?

Mount Etna, Sicily, 2025

Before we had steel belted tires, there were fiberglass belted tires.

Gather round the Particle Accelerator

Please reblog. :)

I would find it really weird, because it does not strike me as reasonable to pay for a thing before the thing exists, but I'd probably go along with it.

... when you order delivery pizza online or tacos via DoorDash, you are paying for something before the thing exists. When you buy a shirt from my website, you're paying for a thing that doesn't yet exist because every shirt sold on our site is made after it's purchased. I'm pretty sure you understand the concept of "paying up front to have something made to your specifications and delivered to you." We even have a phrase for something like that: "made to order."

I'm willing to bet money that you think it's perfectly normal to pay for your DoorDash when you order it. This is because you see and understand the value of the item you're buying, and you understand it takes time, energy and resources to make that thing for you.

I'm not surprised there are (thankfully very few) people who don't think they should have to pay anything up front for custom & commissioned art. I am genuinely surprised to see someone making this specific argument, if only because it is actually so very common to pay up front for things that don't exist yet.

Kinda makes me think people who think that way just don't actually value art or artists. 🤷🏻

okay, doordash specifically no, but food in general actually yes. hm. well look at that.

I guess I'm just way more used to buying things that do, in fact, already exist, and it overwhelmed the relatively small amount of things that don't.

You pay in advance for food made to order in a lot of situations, what the fuck are you talking about? Like, I pay for my Boba tea before it's made, and I pay for my food at a food cart before it's made. My burger at Burgerville is made when I order it, not before.

And like... delivery is 60% of food that Americans eat at restaurants, and when diners go to restaurants, about 60-70% of the time they're going to either a food cart, fast casual, or fast food, where you pay for food and it's then either entirely or partially made for you (e.g. the fries are batch-cooked but your burger is made when you order it). Between the two, it's actually far less common to eat first and then pay than the other way around, culturally speaking.

That took me like 2 minutes of searching to figure out, so. If you're gonna snark at me, it helps to not be wildly off the mark, I guess.

Anything that involves a custom order, if no part of the payment is up front, then what happens if the customer never comes back? Same thing as happens if no part of the payment is upon delivery and the artist never delivers, except for which end of the equation gets fucked over.

Yeah, I do custom stuff in parts; the actual art creation is paid up front, and the physical items/shipping are paid for after the proofs are approved, so after the art is made but before the physical item is made. The latter half matches how ordering a pre-designed shirt works, so. That part doesn't change between custom and non.

I look at it as a perfectly reasonable middle road to pay a down payment for art.

The internet is a low-trust environment. The artist can't (usually) fully trust the client, and the client can't (usually) fully trust the artist. So, splitting the payment for a piece of art makes sense, even if it's still less than ideal in the worst case.

The artist at least will see some compensation for their work, even if the client refuses to pay the other part of the agreed-upon amount. The client is spared some of the expense if the artist drags their feet.

I acknowledge that it's a cynical way to approach it, but art takes time to make. Paying a down payment is entirely reasonable.

That's not cynical at all - it's a fairly standard business practice across a lot of industries. I work in live event construction, and the standard I'm familiar with is 50% deposit, 25% halfway, and 25% after the show wraps. And throughout there are meetings and check-ins and opportunities for revisions, some of which might require change orders & additional payments. And when we pay for custom graphics/art, we pay in a similar structure, dictated by the vendor.

As much as possible I encourage digital artists to use the Graphic Artists Guild pricing tables & boilerplate contracts, most of which are written with the assumption of an initial deposit, possibly some scheme of additional in-process payments, and a final payment before full size/quality work is returned to the client. AND surcharges for late payment, AND cancellation fees, AND getting enough information from the client that you can take them to court if they don't hold up their end.

Making & selling art is an industry - mostly a cottage industry, but still. Any given artist is running a small business, and they can't afford to take the risk that they won't get paid at all by a client can't even give them a 50% deposit.

Software developer here. I've participated in bid preparations and ran my own company for over a decade. No matter the size of the project:

That final 25% is the customer's insurance that the thing we delivered works as expected and isn't just some trash we threw together to meet contractual requirements. There have been projects where that final 25% got held up because we misunderstood something or the customer was being a bitch, but in ~12 years we never once failed to get that final payment.

Doing incrementals like this keeps everyone honest & motivated. It works really well.

Perfect pair.

Meso Cordilleran Highland Stygimoloch climb nearly 90 degree angles to lick salt deposits off of the mountainside. They crave that mineral.

Ad for the Panasonic Exec. Partner from 1986 Byte Magazine

It's beautiful.

Hey! All of your drawings do not need to be completely unique from one another. Do you know how many versions and replicas of his Sunflowers Van Gogh actually did? Just draw that naked guy ten times. Reuse that colour palette. Do that pose again. Follow your heart for real, no one can care as much as you do.

One day the Emperor decided he wanted a nice painting of his favorite kind of fish. So he sent for the kingdom's greatest artist.

The Artist shows up, and the Emperor explains what he wants. The Artist nods, and says "I will do as you say."

A month passes. Three months. A year.

The Emperor grows furious. Where is his fish painting? How DARE this guy defy the will of the Emperor!? So the Emperor mounts up his royal guard, and with horses & soldiers makes a huge show of trooping over the the Artist's studio, so everyone in the kingdom can witness the Artist getting what he deserves.

Outside his studio, the Emperor confronts the artist. "WHERE is my fish painting?? You have ONE FINAL CHANCE to deliver!"

The Artist invites the Emperor inside. Bids him watch, as he places a canvas on his easel, prepares his paints. After a deliberate pause, the Artist takes brush in hand and with several deft motions creates the most beautiful, realistic painting of a fish ever witnessed by human eyes. The scales glisten. It appears alive! Ready to leap off the canvas.

The Emperor is moved to tears. It is indeed the finest painting of a fish ever, in the history of the world.

"You fool," the Emperor shakes his head. "I nearly killed you. Why didn't you deliver me my fish last year?"

In response, the Artist steps back, opens the door to his storage room. Hundreds of fish paintings tumble out, canvases stacked upon canvases, each depicting a beautiful -- but imperfect -- fish.

The Emperor blinks in astonishment as understanding dawns.

The Artist clears his throat, speaks for the first time.

"I was practicing, you colossal shitbag."