My name is Jack Daniels Mizutani and I have only ever been committed to two things in my life: 1. the bit, and 2. the psych ward. I will draw stuff for money and don't have many limits on what stuff or how much money. I draw a lot of things that look like they're stickers but aren't because stickers are really expensive to print. About:
Wip
There is a cat in my neighborhood that I call "Pretty Eyes" because she has big, lovely green eyes, and she has always been very shy, but today I approached her and she sniffed my hand and then let me gently scritch her not once, but twice, and then Foreheaded me before walking away. magical
cyberphuck reblogged
eroticize fetishize unionize.
Pro Kink, Pro Pegging, Pro Incest (Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité)
this is listed on Amazon as a "wedding crown" and yes absolutely, catch me gliding down the aisle toward my future 14th husband (alas, I am a widow 13 times over, such a life I have led)
cyberphuck reblogged
fitz trying to convince people that nighteyes is just a Really big dog will never not be funny to me
"Nighteyes wag your tail" No. "Nighteyes they will HANG me" Sounds like a You problem.
My dreams now realized
Hi ! I just read your texte on the 1rst book of the assassin's apprentice, it's very funny and I want more. Have you done the same thing for the other books ?
I have started on Royal Assassin but have not gotten very far into it, however all of the "Farseer Abridged" posts are here on the masterpost: MASTERPOST LINK thanks for enjoying the abridged series, and make sure to check out @razzekart's blog, since they're the reason I started with the series!
Friend Razz expressed a desire to better understand the hit 90s JRPG final fantasy tactics.
cyberphuck reblogged
Another denizen of Kingdom Nonconsentia is DARK MAGE POWER BOTTOM (whose real name is Silas). A skilled magic user, he gains his powers by summoning demons that fill him with... we're gonna call it "mana." This he absorbs into his body, using it to cast spells until it runs dry. If you're imagining him as an extremely challenging re-occurring miniboss that shows up whenever you least want him to, that's because that's the vibe I was going for. (Silas is intersex, he/they/it, aged somewhere in his fifties. He has a Masters' degree in Demonology; his thesis was on the seed dispersal methods of Walking Flowers and he loves infodumping about it.) Members of my Patreon can see the version of this picture with Silas's dick out!
cyberphuck reblogged
I made this for bestie @qthewhatever, who loves puns in the same way that I do.
cyberphuck reblogged
War crimes are a weird concept because in principle most things done during war ought to be crimes. Also that you tend to be charged with them only when you lose the war. Really it's "which of you bastards did enough evil that we're still going to execute you after your surrender" which under other circumstances is itself considered a war crime.
I think its more "this thing is awful but unavoidable here are some limits that its best for everyone that we have a norm against breaking" e.g. rule against faking surrender, because if that's violated nobody can safely surrender, or against pretending to be medics, because without that everyone loses out from lack of medics
This is part of why I think the concept of war crimes is flawed
I was about to tell the story about the one time in Texas when I went to get my hoodie off of the laundry line and there was a fucking bird in it, but then I realized that my context was "we had to dry our clothes on a line outside" because we were poor and had a washer but no dryer, and thought about how drying laundry on the line is considered way more normal in Europe and Australia and in Australia (at least this is what I have heard one person from that place say once) it's thought to be much more sanitary to dry your clothes outside in the sun despite the fact that there are bigger and nastier creatures there that might make a home in your hoodie, and that other countries* generally** think Americans are weird for having a big loud machine in their house specifically for getting clothes dry. Anyway one time I went to go get my hoodie off the laundry line, a bird flew out of it directly into my face, and as I flailed away I screamed "I HATE THIS FUCKING PLACE"
cyberphuck reblogged
these books need to come with a warning label
I would like to take this moment to tell everyone, again, that the author insists that Fitz and the Fool were not gay for each other.
cyberphuck reblogged
it's just so extremely funny that fitz says he doesn't like amber because she's conniving and tricky because well first of all it's ok when the fool is like that but not amber? ok. misogynist 🫵. second of all. he is a trained spy and assassin and a huge liar like. buddy. i'm sure you've done plenty of that and worse. he's the least self aware person in the world i love him dearly
"Amber tricks people" FITZ YOU CHALLENGED A WOMAN TO A FIGHT AND THEN PUT A POISON IN HER FOOD THAT MADE HER GET ACNE SO BAD THAT SHE LEFT TOWN AND CHANGED HER NAME
My wife's Asian from another marriage