I forgot to elaborate on the Uncle who stole from the cemetery. For reference, he stole ground from the cemetery.
I don't mean he like, dug holes and took dirt out for gardening or witchcraft.
I mean that he took down the cemetery fence and reinstalled it further into the cemetery, and then he plowed and planted corn in his new extra space. Because he owned the field in the next plot over and he thought that space was going to waste without any corn in it.
And people weren't quite sure but wasn't the cemetery larger, before? It seemed that it was. Did the field next door get larger? Outrageous, you can't just casually ask someone if they moved the fence and planted corn in the cemetery property line if you're not certain, you'd sound nuts.
And by the time anyone confronted him about this, well... What are you going to do? Unplant the corn? Where's the property line? He certainly doesn't know. Is the volunteer cemetery board going to send out a surveyor?
My Uncle said there weren't any bodies there. Well. Technically he said, "no one was using that space anyway," and I want that to mean there were no bodies there. But who knows! Now no one, my Uncle has passed away and the crime rate is probably down quite a bit. I hope the organizations that were suing him throughout my childhood got whatever they needed back from his estate. That man could steal anything. He stole water by the bucket. I mean this literally. If it wasn't nailed down, it was going home with him. If it was nailed down, he had a claw hammer to take it and the nail home.