Valentino: sorry we’re late.

Velvette: we didn’t wanna come.

Vox: but we felt it would be rude to deprive you all of our presence.

The Vees: *all strike a pose*

Carmilla: I didn’t ask any of you to come here.

Husk: [coughing up a hair ball] Excuse me.

Vaggie: Gross!

Charlie: Wait why is it pink and white that's not your fur color.

Angel Dust: Morning everyone what's for breakfast?

[Everyone stares at Angel]

Angel Dust: what

Charlie: OMG! You Are Dating!

Hask & Angel Dust: No

Vaggie: Then how did your hair ended up in his hair ball.

Husk: It was a magic trick, and a good magician never reveals his secret.

Angel: smiles! Kiss, marry, kill: me, Charlie, and Husk.

Alastor: kiss Charlie, marry Charlie, kill Lucifer.

Lucifer, from the other room: I wasn’t even one of the options!

Lilith: I’m going to take a shower. Would you like to join me?

Lucifer: you know love, there’s an angelic gun in the footlocker in the storage room. If I ever say “no” to that question, I want you to use it on me.

Niffty: Why is helping someone bury a body the standard for true friendship?

Alastor: It's just a saying that you're in it together no matter what.

Husk: I'm all for that. I'll hide evidence, bribe people, lie to whoever I need to, but I am not digging a hole in the ground.

Alastor: Why is that the something you wouldn't do?

Husk: Too much work. Sounds exhausting.

Niffty: Agreed.

Angel Dust raises his hand: I've done all of that. It ain't that bad.

Lucifer, to Asmodeus and Beelzebub: we’ve decided that if anything should happen to me or Lilith, we would want you two to be Charlie’s guardians.

Bee: *gasps* this is great!! Charlie, when something horrible happens to your parents you’re going to be all ours!

Lucifer: it really is more of an ‘if’ situation—

Ozzie, hugging Charlie and Bee: all ours!!

Young Charlie: damnit.

Lucifer: did you just curse? ‘Cause we don’t talk like that in this goddamn motherfucking house! Shit!

Cherri: I'm going to take you out.

Sir Pentious: Great, it's a date!

Cherri: I meant that as a threat.

Sir Pentious: See you at five!

Lilith carrying drunk Lucifer home from Ozzie's: Come on Angel, let's get you out of those clothes and into bed.

Lucifer scrambling out of her arms and flying away: FUCK OFF I'M MARRIED!

Lilith smiling and watching him lock himself in their room and hearing him barricade the door: . . . I'm going to rail him so hard tomorrow.