fix: stop tearing down non-TTY processes on SSH session end (cherry-pick #18673) #18678
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Cherry-picked fix: stop tearing down non-TTY processes on SSH session end (#18673)
(possibly temporary) fix for #18519
Matches OpenSSH for non-tty sessions, where we don't actively terminate
the process.
Adds explicit tracking to the SSH server for these processes so that if
we are shutting down we terminate them: this ensures that we can shut
down quickly to allow shutdown scripts to run. It also ensures our tests
don't leak system resources.