imagine if DIO just dressed like a regular ass vampire rather than a god damn banana man with goblin boots
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Count Dracula in the original novel was so many different things all woven together.
On the “allegory for real evil” side of things there’s:
- Count Dracula as a relic from a dark and violent period of history
- Count Dracula as an aristocrat sucking the life out of the lower classes
- Count Dracula as a sexual predator
And on the “supernatural horror” side of things there’s:
- Count Dracula as a disease that modern medicine cannot possibly explain or cure
- Count Dracula as an unnatural bestial predator just barely maintaining the mask of humanity
- Count Dracula stealing the free will of his victims and causing their personalities to die while their bodies continue to walk about
He’s a multilayered villain where every new layer is just a new kind of villainy.
But various adaptations over the past century have basically invented the idea of Dracula as a seductive corrupting force, decided to make that his whole deal, and then decided that Dracula must not be that bad and people in Victorian England were clearly only scared of him because they were scared of sexuality.
there is a lot of unintentional humor created by the fact that the characters in “Dracula” do not know that they are characters in “Dracula.”
“The people in the village are warning me about a local legend called a ‘vampire’. How quaint. When I meet Count Dracula I shall have to ask him if he knows more about this peculiar superstition.”
“I never drink…. Wine…”
Some guy in 1893 reading Dracula for the first time: Huh.. What a strange fellow…why doesn’t he drink wine?
Me, reading in a time where Dracula is the most instantly recognizable villain in pop culture: LOL HE SURE DONT
basically, i think the general rule of thumb is: if someone REALLY wants the blood that’s inside of your body, and they’re like… a vampire, or a dracula, or some sort of mansquito, then that’s probably okay. a dracula and a mansquito are made for removing things like blood and swords from inside your body. that’s basically fine.
if something wants to get at your blood, and they’re, say, some kind of murdersaurus, or maybe a really big frog, that’s where the problems start to arise. a really frog is not made for removing blood, and your blood knows this, which is why it is so vehement about wanting to stay IN your body instead of coming out.
unfortunately this will not deter a really big frog, because a really big frog is full of things like prizes, and value, and quite a lot of hatred, and it would REALLY rather like to replace any and all of those things with your blood, and basically by any means possible.
These words scan with a fantastic degree of confidence considering that together they make no sense at all
basically, i think the general rule of thumb is: if someone REALLY wants the blood that’s inside of your body, and they’re like… a vampire, or a dracula, or some sort of mansquito, then that’s probably okay. a dracula and a mansquito are made for removing things like blood and swords from inside your body. that’s basically fine.
if something wants to get at your blood, and they’re, say, some kind of murdersaurus, or maybe a really big frog, that’s where the problems start to arise. a really frog is not made for removing blood, and your blood knows this, which is why it is so vehement about wanting to stay IN your body instead of coming out.
unfortunately this will not deter a really big frog, because a really big frog is full of things like prizes, and value, and quite a lot of hatred, and it would REALLY rather like to replace any and all of those things with your blood, and basically by any means possible.
These words scan with a fantastic degree of confidence considering that together they make no sense at all
Important note to all Dracula fans - Coca-Cola was invented in 1886, and the story is set in 1897. This means you can authentically hint at coca-cola in any and all fanworks set around the book’s time period.
(not that it’s very impressive, since Dracula himself wouldn’t drink it, but certainly the American suitor can!)
Van Hellsing absolutely wired on classic cocaine coca cola defeating dracula
Dracula - “I do not drink…. wine”
Pops open a can of coke
Dracula - “This shit though? This I can chug for DAYS!”
I really appreciate that the Netflix Castlevania adaptation looked at the fact that Dracula’s sprite is so much larger than Trevor’s, and where they could have acknowledged it as the result of technical limitations of the NES console, instead they said “no, Dracula is actually just eight feet tall”.
Lisa went into that castle, saw that tall spooky man, and thought, “That’s a whole ass husband”, and I can totally level with her
imagine if DIO just dressed like a regular ass vampire rather than a god damn banana man with goblin boots
Counterpoint: imagine if all vampires dressed like DIO and Dracula was the weird one with the the cape and the pendant and the red-and-black color scheme
Countercounterpoint: All vampires have unique but equally excessive wardrobes. Thus you have Dracula with his excessively gothic look, the aforementioned banana man DIO, but you also have that one vampire who exclusively dresses like an egyptian pharaoh, one who dresses like a disco dancer with an afro larger than his body, and then you have the one that wears a bat fursuit.
My sister and I worked out the perfect cast for Muppet Dracula
#the gonzo and rizzo dynamic this implies is rizzo being like 'gonzo i think we should get out of here' at every turn#while gonzo is like 'rizzo don't be ridiculous'#gonzo: haha wow this castle is so cool and count dracula is such a nice guy!!#rizzo (trembling like a nervous Chihuahua) oh god oh god oh god#gonzo: check it out this guy's got no reflection! crazy!!#rizzo: gonzo. we are gonna DIE here.#dracula *crawling down the castle like a lizard*#rizzo: GONZO ARE YOU SEEING THIS- wait#gonzo: *crawling down the wall like a lizard too* wahoo!!! (penny-anna)
חכו שהם יגלו על פורים ופסח
רגע יש המשך:
LOL
We used to have the ability to transport the whole of Jerusalem, like Dracula's castle in Castlevania.... Just *plonk* Hebrews be upon thee