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Things I Like and Stuff

@vocallywritten / vocallywritten.tumblr.com

I write fanfic on AO3 with the same username. You might know me from there.
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I really do like the story they told with Colin this season. The whole time he's trying to be "The man" in whatever situation he's in. When he's single, he's being a rake or a charmer, when he's with Penelope, he wants to be a protector and provider. He wants to be of use to her, to be of service to her, and he doesn't know what to do with himself when he can't be that. He wants to be a writer, to make money, to care for her.

but Penelope tells him, in no uncertain terms, he doesn't have to be any which way. she can stand on her own, but she wants him to stand with her. he makes it easier, more bearable, and they can work together when it comes to writing. they can be partners, on as equal terms as possible under their circumstances, he doesn't have to necessarily fulfill a specific expected role other than to just love her

I really love that in their last sex scene, she's on top. Last time, he said he would "do it all" and goddamn it's admirable to see a man on screen interested in his partner's pleasure not only physically but verbally affirming he wants to make it good for her. but it's also nice to see that he gives her what she truly wants, which is the ability for her to make them both feel good, too, to know what's going on and how to make him tick as well, to share in the connection rather than something being done to her. Brilliant little use of storytelling and development shown over the sex scenes that connect thematically to everything else that happened between them.

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bebx

“We hope this email finds you well” babe, the only emails I hope find me well are the ones from Archive of Our Own

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reblogged

But this last year,. I found myself yearning to hear word from home. From Penelope, in fact ...I miss you'

If you watch the little details, it's there all along. He really missed her and he wanted her back so much that he was capable of doing anything for her. You can see it in the way he looks at her in the garden. Everything he says is true.

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Anonymous asked:

A hot take but one that's a hill you're willing to die on?

oh my.

alright.

i think the comparisons to anthony or benedict when it comes to colin and sex are bad faith takes and the people who think he slept his way through 17 cities are giving him far too much credit (and hate? like no one reacts to colin the way they do to anthony or benedict and it's wild).

whenever colin mentions/we see him involved in sexual situations in part one, he's at odds with penelope emotionally. over the summer he's waiting for penelope to write him and when she doesn't he starts looking for that connection in the physical and when he's back home, he's still seeking what he considers his "normal" with penelope when he's at the brothel in ep 2. right after he leaves the girlies, he's acting both nervous and like he's overcompensating so you can tell he's still unsure about where they stand. he wants penelope's approval so bad he's choking on it.

in ep 4 he's both in love with her and at odds emotionally—they're not on the same page and he's not sure they ever will be. once he's aware of his emotions, he's not even capable of pretending any longer.

which moves into the end of 4 and into ep 5 where he's both confident but nervous because he's done this before but he's never done it quite like that. he's already insecure about her feelings so it feels like all of his focus is making sure she enjoys herself because he can provide this for her. he can give her pleasure and he can give her a home. he can publish his journals and make her proud of him. but it's all to prove something to himself (and her) when it comes to their relationship.

he's far more himself with her than he is with anyone else which is why i think he's so insecure about it. and why LW is such a big issue for him. he's scared for her and he's jealous, yes, but i also think there's a tinge of "i'm still not enough for her" mixed in there when she won't give it up, like being married to him isn't enough even tho that's not what LW is about for her.

neither one of them are being themselves completely at that point. he's more himself, yeah, but he's also trying to prove that he's some better version of himself he thinks he needs to be for her and she's not owning the secret parts of herself yet. they're still not on the same page emotionally.

we saw how hard it was for him to separate his mind and body from the start so i think him trying to do that with penelope, the woman he's in love with and married to by that point, was going to be near impossible. he visibly weakens every time she says she loves him so idk what else people want from him tbh or why they act like he was punishing her. i think he was respecting the both of them.

long way to say what i said but i also stand by it.

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reblogged

I’ve been thinking about the evolution of these scenes a lot, and for all the flack part two gets, I think it perfectly illustrates one truth: Colin Bridgerton is consistent in his love to a fault, and he is hopelessly devoted to Penelope.

A lot of us (me) were bothered by him reducing their marriage to a show of his honor and nothing else, but, your honor, the scene on the right makes it clear that’s not true.

The actual truth is that he’d already forgiven her (in less than a day, mind you) — and he was angry at himself for how easy it was for him to do (common, unlucky lovesick fool that he is); angry at how Pen — even after embodying his ultimate dealbreaker — was really all that mattered to him now.

As @phantomphaeton said, what he was actually grappling with was emotional entrapment of it all — the harrowing realization that nothing, literally nothing, could make him not love her.

Because if you think about it, no matter what he may have said at the time, his honor wasn’t enough to make him stand by Marina. With her, honor had his limits. But with Pen? Nothing — not hell or high water — could stop that man from walking down the aisle.

And realizing that shocks him; it scares the living shit out of him, the acute knowledge that he’s so fucking far gone for her, he cannot fathom walking away, even from bloody Lady Whistledown.

So, when she suggests calling off the wedding, the man hurls that entrapment accusation at her with the ease of someone who’d been practicing it; someone who had a list ready to go at the slightest suggestion they break this off. In fact, he doesn’t even take it back when she says she doesn’t know if she will stop publishing, which, considering how much he wants her to stop, is actually super crazy, because it shows just how much he’s willing to put up with, if only just to keep her.

Anyway, Colin Dead Devoted Bridgerton, I look forward to analyzing ever more of your desperately down bad clues.

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reblogged

Colin asking Penelope if she is concerned that they should not be in their new home alone before they’re married, and Portia lurking in a corner trying to chaperone them when Colin presents Penelope with her ring, are both such subtle but satisfying moments because they illustrate to Penelope for the first time that she is sexually desirable. She is compromisable. There is a visible threat to her virtue (and it’s name is Colin, and he definitely delivered on that threat 😏) because she is beautiful, and sexy, and a sexual being.

Imagine how different that might feel for a wallflower, who was completely convinced there was nothing she can offer a man physically, so much so that no one ever worried about protecting her propriety.

Anyway, I love it. You go babygirl! 🎀🔥

BUT ALSO (!!!)

However unconsciously, he thinks of her as compromisable as early as episode one. 😏

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Something that really strikes me about the way Colin Bridgerton loves is the intensity of it. Previous romantic heroes in Bridgerton have fought against their love, have even voiced that they would wish it away if they could (and none of this is bad. All drama is fun drama in Bridgerton in my book.) Colin, however, embraces every aspect of what loving Penelope entails practically from the moment he becomes aware of the depth of his feelings, including the pain.

He tells her he does not want to give up his feelings, even when they are a source of pain for him. Which, by the by, is why I think he marries her, despite him not knowing what sort of marriage they will even have after the Lady Whistledown reveal.

He loves Penelope with a genuinely blinding intensity, as is evidenced by his insecurities about her returning his love he had through most of the season. He's been engaged to her less than a week and he's already talking about how much she is the only thing that matters.

I don't really know where I'm going with this it's just a jumble of thoughts I had.

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