The Lesbian Thespian

Love ships where its like some guy with autism and his special interest is his wife

Like we know Biden would never but God imagine if he just had Trump assassinated as an official act right now and then resigned from office. What would SCotUS even do.

Like you can't impeach him, he's resigned. You can't prosecute him, that was an official act as God-President. You can't even turn the precedent over, you just fucking set it. Joe just goes home and lives out his remaining year retired from the public eye and gets to watch the chaos unfold on TV.

Biden has 6 months to do the funniest thing imaginable

jo grant you will always be famous

Next time you make a grilled cheese sandwich, instead of cooking it in butter, try inventing a special glue that lets you walk up and down any surface

killingyou.com/withagun

fuck papa louie and his stupid fucking burgeria. ive been THE ONLY COOK IN THIS ENTIRE GODDAMN BUILDING for 3 WEEKS. and JUST NOW, AT RANK 14, they call me “sandwich builder”. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??? I AM THE ONLY GODDAMN PERSON ON THIS SINKING SHIP OF A FAST FOOD PLACE. COOK YOUR OWN FUCKING BURGERS PAPA EAT MY ASSHOLE

Imagine going to a party and the white suburban stay at home mom with two overachiever kids and white dad who barbeques but doesn’t know how to barbeque and yet is always surrounded by other white Dads who compliment his barbqeuing even though they’re just store bought preshaped frozen patties from Ralph’s or Food 4 Less and while he’s cooking those the white mom comes out and says “okay kids, here’s some pizza!” And she pulls this out and starts telling the kids why its a “fun pizza” and then cries in her master bedroom when no one likes it or finishes it and the white dad is then consoling her why she sobs that she’s a terrible mother and ruined her fourth grade straight B+ sons birthday and thinks her kids hate her but they don’t care but she continues crying softly into her pillow while the children eat poorly cooked burgers with unmelted kraft singles and too much mayonnaise and the only other condiments are two pickles and pepper because the dad calls it his special burger with a secret spice but the spice was just pepper and the kids just keep playing E rated games on their Nintendo Wii while the 17 year old older sister starts cleaning the tragedy up and throwing away uneaten “fun pizza” and whole burgers dejected from the start while she dials Pizza Hut to get these kids an actual birthday lunch and the mother then throws a fit because the daughter did something the kids liked and she didn’t and was the only one making a huge deal out of it and the daughter was then grounded from her TV in her room for only two days and the son went to blow out the candles in his standard birthday cake from food 4 less the mom added strawberries to so she could feel she did something but was still slightly teary and sad because her day was ruined by no one wanting to eat her “fun pizza”

season six was crazy. Hey guys welcome back to the show we’re in America now! The doctor sent mysterious letters telling everyone to meet in Utah! Yeah we got the whole gang together! And the doctor dies! He’s dead! He starts regenerating and he’s killed again! They burn his body! This will haunt the companions for the whole season while the doctor (younger and not dead) takes them on wacky adventures! There are weird bald aliens!

woah! It turns out the guy who killed the Doctor was River the whole time! Woah! It turns out Rory and Amy’s childhood friend was River the whole time! Woah! It turns out that girl we saved was River the whole time! Woah! it turns out Amy’s child was River the whole time!

y’know how you thought the doctor was dead? It’s all good, he was actually just a robot built to kill hitler full of tiny people pretending to be the doctor.

season six was crazy. Hey guys welcome back to the show we’re in America now! The doctor sent mysterious letters telling everyone to meet in Utah! Yeah we got the whole gang together! And the doctor dies! He’s dead! He starts regenerating and he’s killed again! They burn his body! This will haunt the companions for the whole season while the doctor (younger and not dead) takes them on wacky adventures! There are weird bald aliens!

woah! It turns out the guy who killed the Doctor was River the whole time! Woah! It turns out Rory and Amy’s childhood friend was River the whole time! Woah! It turns out that girl we saved was River the whole time! Woah! it turns out Amy’s child was River the whole time!

going to the local polling place and scanning over my ballot until i find the "i'm bald" option

Interview with the cheerleader

But I'm a vampire