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So I was thinking during a reread...

'And when I best you, I will be sure I do it as thoroughly as I would any opponent who has shown themselves to be my equal.'

Oh, to feel so proud of yourself to have proven to be your father's equal. To become what he thought you incapable of. To take pride in knowing you've proved him so very wrong. The joy and satisfaction.

But also ah, how awful to face your own father in battle, both on opposite sides. To be against the man who raised you. Sat you on his lap and read to you. Fed you and taught you how to defend yourself. Helped you become who you are.

Oh, the conflict of feelings. The push of pride and satisfaction and the pull of sorrow and resentment. Because you are his daughter and he's made himself your enemy. The bitterness is it all.

Ah, to become your father's daughter but also his enemy as well. To be on the receiving end of his deadly threats.

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Fighting for my life trying to find a phone or tablet with a headphone jack. Fighting for my life trying to find a laptop with a cd rom. Fighting for my life trying to get more than one usb port or, god forbid, an hdmi. Fighting for my life trying to find any electronics that haven't been streamlined into flimsy chastity belts with the structural integrity of a sopping sheet of paper which require me to buy 3 extra devices (each with their own separate charging requirements) all because some silicon valley jackass somewhere decided holes were a bad thing.

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Cardan not going after Jude during her exile always makes me cry because the only reason he wasn’t is because he wanted to respect her wants and autonomy so bad. He didn’t want to make her come back if she didn’t want to, didn’t look for her because he genuinely believed Jude would come back if she wanted to be found. And again it’s just so in-character of him to automatically think she’s just found something better than him because no one ever willingly picked and stayed with him when they had a choice so why would she?

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