Realized i never uploaded these so here u go tumblr
They denied us reddie, they denied us boreo. If they deny us byler, my friends and family will never hear from me ever again.
I dont think yall realize how devastated i will be if the duffers pull a reddie on byler..
the bitches traumatized by saltburn would never survive the fics in my ao3 history
"How would you describe most of your favorite shows/books?"
Like this:
ao3 writers will be like "sorry if its out of character i wrote this for myself when i was half asleep" and then its the most beautiful well thought out character analysis youve ever read
nothing better than shipping a ship where one of the people have a canon love interest
"arent they with-?" I DONT CARE
i only like couples where they are both just losers. like absolutely pathetically embarrassing. they are sooo lucky they found each other bc everyone else on the planet would rather be shot than be shackled to either of them
i need reddie in a world where the only conflict is that richie is just. pathetically bad at flirting. like the losers have to look away because heās just truly so awful they get secondhand embarrassment. richie knows heās not the best, but it makes eddie laugh, and sometimes even blush, and so heās like well something must be working. eddie is just so enamored by this absolute mess he canāt help it
Eddie and Richie choosing the very back seats of the cinemas during dates to make out.
they hear familiar voices a few seats from theirs.
Richie adjusts his glasses, squinting his eyes because he has to double check to make sure his vision is not messing around.
it's Bill and Stan. Bill is giggling like a teenage girl while Stan kisses him to shut him up.
Richie throws popcorn at their direction while Eddie lowers his mouth to Richie's neck to cover his laughs.
Bill flips them off. Stan rolls his eyes, but doesn't really give a damn because he brings Bill closer.
eddie kaspbrak loves cooking shows. like, he loves them. the food network is his favorite channel, and he watches everything from diners drives ins & dives to good eats to the pioneer woman, not to mention all the different cooking & baking competitions (gbbo is, ofc, his favorite) that crop up every year. eddie kaspbrak loves cooking shows, but eddie kaspbrak doesnāt know how to cook. itās hilarious! itās hysterical, even! because sure, for that brief period in college between sonia & myra, he learned some basics, like toast and grilled cheese and scrambled eggs, but for all he watches heās pretty clueless in the kitchen. ask him to roast potatoes or make a soup from scratch and watch him flounder. heās never had to do anything like that himself before, you know. heās never been allowed to.
and it sucks, it does, because food is a form of love. and he knows that because, while he doesnāt have many memories of his dad, almost all of the ones he does have revolve around food. frank kaspbrak loved cooking. he loved best cooking polish recipes from his youth, stuffed cabbage and haluski (eddieās favorite) and pierogis and chalka bread (eddieās second favorite) and borscht, and eddie loved to watch. frank would hold eddie on his hip and let him see it all, even let him help sometimes, and when eddie got a little too big to be held, frank would drag a chair in from the dining room to the stove and hoist him onto it so he could stand and watch every step. while he chopped vegetables or showed eddie how to bread pork or worked on dough, frank would tell stories about his childhood, and how he learned to cook from his mother and his grandmother, and how he would cook with eddie until the recipes were all stuck in his head like they were stuck in how own, because they had never been written down before, and it made eddie feel close to him, made him giggle to think about his big strong dad being small and standing on a chair and watching just like him.
frank kaspbrak loved cooking, and then he got sick. very sick. the last memory eddie has of his dad is curling up with him in his hospital bed and listening to him whisper-rasp promises, with what was left of his ravaged lungs, of fresh chalka and pÄ czki and haluski and potato pancakes once he got better. the trouble was that he never did.
lots of things changed after he was gone. eddie learned quickly that his dad hadnāt liedānone of his familyās recipes had ever been written down. he also learned that hospital food was not love, and neither was takeout, but that even though it was different, his motherās cooking was, and even more so, over time she taught him that not letting him too close to the hot stove or sharp knives was love, too. cooking for him and not with him was love, keeping track of his allergies was love, teaching him to fear food that wasnāt good for him was love, because taking care of him was love.
myra seemed to know those things inherently, and when he married her, she showed him that she loved him in the same ways. she looked after him, she cooked for him, she made sure he stayed away from too much sodium and sugar and butter, she protected him from everything including himself.
and all the while, eddie kaspbrak loved cooking shows. well, he loves cooking shows. in the hospital, after pennywise, he watches a lot, and he learns, but not how to baste a turkey or throw together a corn salad. no, he learns that actually, takeout can be love when your friends sneak it into your hospital room to cheer you up, and yeah, okay, maybe hospital food can be love, too, when you have someone who will make you laugh about it or split your jell-o with.
he divorces myra once heās out. his friends support him, and richie is quick to offer his home for eddie to stay while he gets back on his feet. eddie is just as quick to accept. theyāve always been best friends, havenāt they? he moves in more than he crashes. it sort of feels like theyāre kids again. and, you know, richie tozier loves cooking. for the first time in thirty five years, eddie feels compelled to watch, and so most nights he perches on the other side of the island while richie pretends to be on a cooking show, just for him. itās a fucking riot! but itās something else, too. itās special, because they laugh, and they talk about anything and everything and nothing, and they share their meals together every night, and it makes eddie feel close to him.
eventually, richie starts to involve eddie, calling him his lovely assistant, or his little sous chef. he walks eddie through the best way to cut up potatoes, or how to do a dry rub, or how to make an egg wash. eventually, he has eddie start sautƩing the onions, or dredge and bread the pork chops, or throw together a fucking roux all on his own, without having to be shown. eventually, he starts to ask what eddie wants him to do, just as much as the reverse, and renames their imaginary cooking show after them both.
one year to the day after eddie moves in, richie shows him recipes he found online for chalka bread and some cabbage and noodle dish, i think itās called haluski or something? whatcha think, chef k? eddie knows that richie knows exactly what haluski is. richieās already gone and bought all the ingredients for both, and so they make them for dinner that night. richie lets eddie take the lead, and later he reaches across the table to hold his hand when eddie starts crying after the first bite. it tastes just like his fatherās recipe, you know. it tastes like love and comfort and home. they wash up together after dinner, eddie scrubbing and richie drying as he yaps on in one of his voices, and eddie has to stop right in the middle of it to grab richieās face with his soapy hands and kiss him. the rest of the dishes are left forgotten until the morning.
so yeah, eddie kaspbrak loves cooking shows, and he loves cooking, and holy shit, he loves richie tozier, too.
you guys ever hear a character say something so gay you sitting there trying to figure out how you were supposed to interpret that platonically?!
"Looks like a cinnamon roll"
"could kill you"
"Looks like they could kill you"
"is a cinnamon roll"
"Looks like a cinnamon roll"
"is a cinnamon roll"
"Looks like they could kill you"
"would kill you"
*points to a pair of random fictional gay men that I'm currently obsessed with for no reason and will be for the next month* These are my babies and I love them
*pushes the ones that I'm not currently obsessed with back into my basement* Hush children you can come back out when (if) your hyperfixation returns