I am so excited today because I finally bought myself my 13-year-old-girl-obsession-book. When I was 13 years old, I read it multiple times because I was so obsessed with it, but I never got to read the rest of the series because my school library only had the first book (how does that even make sense? why torture me like that?) and back then I did not have money to buy myself books, so I never finished reading the series. I can't even describe how much I loved this book back then and I've never forgotten it but today I finally got it for myself and now I can start reading the series. :)

Update: Reading this book was a whole experience. Not only was I re-living the story (The benefit of not reading a book in exactly a decade is that you forget some bits - in a good way, you get to re-read it!), I also gained a new perspective on it, because I understand different bits in a different way, due to personal experience since then. I also got to see the characters in a different light. I remember having my first book crush on the male main character (lol) and loved the female main character, too. Now they annoy me a little, but I still enjoyed reading it. One major thing: HOW COME I prefer the translated version more than the original?? Back then, I read the book in German and I liked it so much more. It also felt much longer than the English original.

_yu.jung_

I am a complete marshmallow obsessed person, so you can imagine my excitement when I found out about the interesting invention of Smores (even the name is curious to me). Anyway, I don't know why, but I *never* made any Smores. I don't know why. I guess I just waited for them to magically find their own way into my life. And it's not like you can buy them at any cafes or restaurants or anything... It was also a challenge to find 'Graham crackers' which are mentioned in every recipe but I simply can't find them here in Europe).

Anyway, a couple of months ago, I had a friend over and *happened* to have marshmallows, chocolate *and* some cookies at home simultaneously. They were not Graham Crackers, but I asked my friend if they could be used (Digestives) and she agreed. Imagine me in starry eyes in that instant.

So we made some Smores and put them in the oven... And guess what. They turned out BAD. For some reason, the chocolate did not melt (it was very cheap...) and the smores didn't melt either. Apart from that, the digestive were way too sweet and everything just tasted toooo much. I will try again. I am not giving up on Smores yet.

I think that we have genuinely forgotten how to be friends. Shouldn't friends be willing and even enjoy helping you out without expecting to be paid for it? Let's say, help you move apartments, see you off at the airport, help you carry the groceries from the store to your house, or other similar, ordinary, everyday kind of things?

On a similar note, don't people like to start and develop friendships anymore? I mean, why does it like I'm such a burden or waste of time when I ask someone to spend some time together at a cafe and they end up checking their phones all the time, or can't wait to leave and go about their own lives? Why don't we have conversations anymore? And when we do, why do all conversations have to be venting/negative/complaints about the state of the world or about this and that? I am not saying that you shouldn't be able to express yourself and your feelings and more generally what you have been going through, but why can't we just... be? Come to my house, we'll spend some time watching a movie. We don't have to talk, we can just watch and enjoy each other's presence. We can order some pizza, or I can make us some pasta real quick.

Let's play a game of UNO and then watch funny Youtube videos together.

Tell me about that boy you like while I paint my nails or something.

Am I asking for too much? Is basic decency and normal conversation too much? Everyone keeps complaining about how our societies are becoming more and more individualistic and how loneliness keeps increasing everywhere, but once we're outside, once we're together, they can't wait to leave again... This can't be just me.

One more essay to go... I am so behind the deadline that i don't even know if i am going to pass, but i decided to do my best until the end and to try to enjoy the process? I can't wait for this to be over. April was really not great for me.

Did I finish the essay? No. Is hell over? Yes. That's all I am going to say for now.

I remember the very first day I got tumblr. Thinking about which phone I was using, how tumblr looked different back then, how unfamiliar the app was to me. I remember that at first I was so confused by everything, I did not understand what these blogs were about and was so shy to write my own things. 8 years and about 3 new accounts later, I am still too shy to write my own thoughts, but the picture of that screen, of me scrolling on here for the first time, is still very present in my head.

The day I find someone as deep and understanding as myself I will be the happiest person alive. Living your life feeling like there is just no one good for you is one of the worst feelings you can have, because eventually you start feeling like you are just no good for anyone.

Random writing tips that my history professor just told during class that are actually helpful

The point about stopping before you get exhausted is so, so important and eye-opening!