broke mentally ill tgirl onto my 5th blog now, you may know me as sapphicinsatin
homeless atm, my paypal is here if you can donate, anything at all makes a big difference and is greatly appreciated.
i hate that im fucking alive why does EVERYONE want me dead ugh
Anonymous asked:
So all the people trying to reach out in your notes and messages aren’t good enough for you because they’re not the specific people you deem important? Why can’t you talk to them?
"all the people??" ur fucking deluded. ive gotten 4 messages total in the past few days and the only asks I've seen are misunderstanding lowkey-hate anons like this one. stop fucking pushing the blame on me when ppl TELL ME theyre abandoning me and exclude me and i have fucking no one around!! just cuz i dont respond to like 2 new pll for a short bit bc theyre new doesn't mean im fucking not talking to ppl.
god why are you guys so fucking inhuman?? is it so hard to care about another human being and accept that maybe they *are* being treated poorly?? im just a fucking girl
Anonymous asked:
Listen, your feelings are valid and I’ve been there but you also need to understand that just because people don’t reach out all the time doesn’t mean they hate you. Idk ur situation but if youve been withdrawing or something from other people people they might assume you just don’t want to talk. your brain is lying to you when it tells you everyone hates you. Try reaching out to people you used to talk to if you don’t already
this isnt sum fucking mental breakdown based off my brain "lying to me" this is actual fucking consequences of things thatve happened u clearly don't know whats happened at *all* if u think that. i havent been withdrawing from everyone at all i DO reach out to people and i get fucking excommunicated by everyone for even being sad for a second loll. dont act like its just the same as some depression this is no one fucking talking to me anymore unless theyre hidden behind anons. i fucking try but theres no point anymore 👍 and ppl like u just assuming everythings in my head is PART of why it never gets better btw!
angellurgy reblogged
hiiii viscera here, i hate to ask but i am currently struggling with like, an insurmountable amount of credit on top of trying to pay rent I can barely cover, all off a garbage minimum wage paycheck that my body can barely handle working for. i am a tgirl getting just pulverized under capitalism :/
if anyone can help, that would be greatly appreciated. my paypal is here, and if you're in Canada you can dm for e-transfer details.
also if you're interested, i have a fansly for $5/month!! (ill also do customs on there for you if u want :3)
tysm for the support, if you can help :(
angellurgy reblogged
Finished BPD bot for @angellurgy (•̀ᴗ•́ )و "what about a tall robotgirl with bpd smugly looking down at you and being like 'i never needed you' as she pulls out a plug that connects her to the pov"
Yes, comms are open! Process below the cut:
Anonymous asked:
i dont know why you think everyone hates you and wants you dead when we still lots of us still reach out to you and try to help you. obvs i cant see in your dms or your private life if ppl are really helping you but it doesnt look like to me that nobody cares abotu you. tell us what you need sister we want to help
i dont know how u think that! no one rlly reaches out sometimes a few ppl reply to my posts n thats rlly zweet but that doesnt mean that everyone else doesnt fuckin. ignore and avoid me like the plague and clearly wantz me dead. all of my closer friends fuckin abandoned me for being too suicidal n wont let me work on it and everyone who used to send me asks and talk to me on here is fuckin gone and has been for a while, im so isolated all the time n i USED to have somewhat of a community but now everyones left
n for some reason everyone acts like theres already sm support for me when i have fucking nothing?? like at all?? i dont get it!!!!
sent in my passport application. who knows if itll even fucking matter. kust a couple months ago i had sm people i couldve gone n seen and now suddenly everyones gone n hates me so maybe ill just fuckin kill myself anyway to make every1 happy. who knows ^ - ^
ig ill just try to not post until i can actually kill myself. i wanted to stay on here and try to function again but. everyone just wants me gone and wants to forget i even existed so. ig i should just accept the life my 'sisters' have afforded me right?
everyone tried to promise me that theyd be here for me if i came back and what did i fucking get.. i got nothing but even worse exclusion than i had before, everyone just shows their true colours instead of giving a dying girl any comfort at all
Anonymous asked:
Youre wrong, people posted about you because we care about you alive; because we WANTED you to be alive. We dont want you to be a spectacle: we want to be by your side keeping each other safe. No more dead sisters.
thinking abt how ppl who sent asks like these r just fucking gone now. every1 did want me to be a spectacle, that was the whole point, the whole reason why no one fucking cared until someone else said something, and the reason no one fucking cares in the slightest now. no one wants to keep me safe, no one even wants me to be their 'sister' everyone just wants me dead. everyone wants me stuck in a loop of being unable to make new friends while simultaneously losing all of them until im just fuckjng nothing and will actually kill myself
angellurgy reblogged
noooo anti-civ trans girl don't reblog that post about wanting more rail infrastructure in the US
i wish trying to kill yourself wasnt seen as a social murder-able offense i wish i didnt have to be hated for being fucking sad i wish i didnt have to devolved into fucking nothing and lose all the progress i made bc some of your people think suicide is selfish, now ive just turned into fucking nothing again and all i want is to be liked at all but i all i get is hate i wanted to fucking live and love and be real but everyone just wants me dead everyone wants to never think abt me again so how can i even pretend to be something
i cant even be mad and lash out back at the world anymore its just a fact of life that everyone genuinely wants me dead ^-^ so whatevwr if i die theres no consequences!! the world will be sm better ^-^
angellurgy reblogged
LOL i love how everyone just fucking wants me dead i love how all of u want me to kill myself sooo fucking baf i love how ur all so sad thT i didnt just fucking die and disappear like i shouldve before i love how no one wants to even fucking try n see if theres a solution to this shit except for just kys yayyy lolllll i cant fucking wait to give u all what u always wanted fucking. whatever lol
i came back after trying to kill myself and being told by fuckjng everyone that they cared, n loved me, n that if i came back i wouldn't be alone and that they promised to watch over their new sister this time around if i gave a chance, and yk what? everyone fucking LIED. everyone fucking lied everyone lies for fucking ever. its so much easier to let her die than to pretend u care bc it takes sooooo much effort to msg her and love her and do things w her right? even trying to be her friend is so much workkkk cuz shes depressed n thats just too much to handle she needs to talk fun allll the time right. and now its probably just too late. cuz no one will come back, everyone i was close friends w abandoned me, no one cares. just fucking deadbeat trannies (and i get it i do but :/) who cant keep ur fucking promises and i hope u'll be fucking happy when it leads to me disappearing again ig! like everyone but the three people who can deal w my fear fucking wanted ig! yk i wanted to live when i came back n wanted to believe that u all meant it but u DIDNT. and the isolation after only made it worse and now im just living thru sm fucking pain and isolation for nothing while my head still wants me to love all the ppl who fucking abandoned me i have nothing to fucking do but just give up on love and happiness and everything i cant care that complaining and being upset makes everyone hate me and think im just not listening anymore my life is fucking forfeit cuz i cant just fix everything myself. maybe its my fault for trying to kill myself tho ig ^_^ lollll
LOL i love how everyone just fucking wants me dead i love how all of u want me to kill myself sooo fucking baf i love how ur all so sad thT i didnt just fucking die and disappear like i shouldve before i love how no one wants to even fucking try n see if theres a solution to this shit except for just kys yayyy lolllll i cant fucking wait to give u all what u always wanted fucking. whatever lol
angellurgy reblogged
i adopted a new cat