tumblr is recommending me the blog of a man who only posts pictures of himself wearing a nylon stocking as a mask and holding a crowbar and so on. wearing leather gloves and grimacing at the camera menacingly through the stocking. it appears to be some kind of sex thing. is this that “gooning” you kids keep talking about?
well, i probably should not have thrown that in drafts
next, they are going to use the plausibly real threat of undisclosed nuclear production sites as justification to strike anything they want. this is provocation to identify whether iran has developed nukes, which can then be used as justification to retaliate, or turn into another forever war to embarrass a president twenty years from now with withdrawal. very profitable, either way
well, i probably should not have thrown that in drafts
we need a popstar to get into a fight with her label and go off to a church in london in a huff to do a lot of ayahuasca and record a harpsichord album out of spite in a church and then fly to new orleans to add brass band session musicians because that’s exactly what this high concept breakup album about the hawaiian goddess pele needs (she is not hawaiian) and when she goes back to the label they’re like “this one is insaaaane we love it it’s radio ready what if it didn’t have the harpsichord?” and she’s like “well while you were saying that i lost the masters. you wanna try again? i can lose more of them” and it’s absolutely not a hit but a remix of the one where the bull next door wouldn’t stop braying in the background does make it to #1 on the dance charts, immediately alienating a huge number of new fans. again
This incredible gold headboard was first spotted in the 𝑺𝒕𝒂𝒓 𝑻𝒓𝒆𝒌: 𝑫𝒆𝒆𝒑 𝑺𝒑𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝑵𝒊𝒏𝒆 episode 𝑶𝒖𝒓 𝑴𝒂𝒏 𝑩𝒂𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒓 in 1995.
It was used again in the 1996 film 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑩𝒊𝒓𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒈𝒆.
Learn more at Bit.ly/Props026
Anonymous asked:
you got a job at a weed dispensary ran by and for male thotties?
no dispensary is not a male thot job sorry. dealer is but dispensary isn’t
Anonymous asked:
credit card factory again
no. that would be ironic for different reasons. i’ve been struggling to figure out how to give a hint that is funny and solvable without doxxing myself when the exact specifics are kind of what makes it funny. but it’s in this area of the job market
bartenders doing the thousand hand bodhisattva. to my humps. on a thursday ? (machine elves turn the world open and i immediately scamper into another, larger world)
Anonymous asked:
did you get hired to drive the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile?
no it’s more ironic for me personally. you would never guess that i am doing this
my two weed smoking boyfriends are talking about marinating valentina hot sauce like it’s diet coke on tiktok. it develops a personality, they are saying. you have to leave the lid open
ford reportedly developing roadhead-simulating crash test dummies
you guys are not going to believe the job i just got it’s so absurd. you’re going to make fun of meeeee. input your guesses now !
horror movie slut moment i’m out in the backyard with my man’s dog and she reeeeeeally wants to crawl into the hole under the house that her leash can’t reach when it’s wrapped around one of the poles of the gazebo so she unwraps it to get closer and i’m like no babygirl. you’re not going over there. let’s focus on something else let’s sit facing the other way. pulling hand over hand on her leash from the plastic wicker sectional with my sunglasses on smoking a cigarette. wearing basketball shorts and a cutoff. i just switched out my nipple barbells for captive bead rings for pride this weekend. and then the creature gets me
