(requested by anonymous)
punch nazis
YES
its always okay to punch nazis
and hopefully this is in fact NAZIS, not “a generic cartoony bad guy”- because actual nazis are running around, and are not getting punched.
please punch them. and then you can punch the other bad guys.
It’s ok
Punch em
I, an American, did not know the American spelling of catalogue was catalog until Google Docs tried to correct me about it.
You know what? Fuck it. I'm gonna keep using the British spelling because I don't like 'catalog.' It simply lacks the aesthetic appeal of its counterpart.
I didn't even realise that catalogue and catalog were seperated by country, I assumed catalogue was just an alternate spelling for if you're feeling fancy. I also never know whether gray is american or british, and so every time I write it I don't know how to spell it, until I realise that (presumably)nobody is goint to hate my writing because I, an American, used the british spelling of a word, and just pick a random one.
I want to take a heaping batch of #tw blood and spread it all over me like I’m that peanut butter baby. You know the one.
this is horrifying
true
just found out that at camp this year I'll have my 5th sex ed
You must be an expert at it by now.
Sir, I am 14
@anarchist-rat-swarm you seem like a good source for this, which one has found more of your members(if either have found any)?
You suddenly switch bodies with your icon. On a scale of 1 to 10, (10 being the highest value) how well are you coping with that change?
just found out that at camp this year I'll have my 5th sex ed
how is the text on fire underwater?
And why was that my first thought when seeing this?
Or is he crawling around on land at night or in a cave?
ok fellas i wrote 2 new oneshots today which should i post first
I considered reblogging this with just "ah yes, catnip" but considering I've seen you post about spock(I think it was spock at least) going into lethal space heat I wouldn't be too surprised if it's actual catnip.
GODDAMNIT, I have yet another shit post ready, but I need to wait for specific circumstances for it to be funny.
Unfortunately I'm waiting for the right real life circumstances to come along.
my favorite picture ever is the one that says “HELL IS FULL, BITCH” and then it has the national suicide prevention hotline on it. it makes me smile every time
THIS ONE!!!!
I wonder who made these! I have this one saved:
Chaotic Good
*slamming my fists on table* I NEED MORE!!!! MORE!!!!
If anyone has the skeleton apologizing for triggering someone, I’d like that for my collection, please.
Here!
Plus some more^^
I love the intent behind all of these but my initial interpretation of the last one was that by "all of that shit" it included the not in each, so it was just insulting me. I know what it meant and I'm not saying it's an issue, I just think it's funny.
IDK if weed day is big or small, so I'm staying out of this for now.
randomly decided to start fucking with random characters on c.ai and here are some of the conversations I've had.
First, selling knives:
Katsuki Bakugo:
I would say AI but I'm pretty sure the creator of the chatbot actually decides the first message. Either way: I’m Katsuki Bakugo, soon to be the #1 pro hero! What do you want, chump?
Me: Do you like cutting vegetables?
Now it's definitely the AI: I LOVE cutting vegetables. They’ve got nothing on my chopping skills!(I would like to mention that I had the AI voice on at first but didn't really like it so I turned it off, but on this message they got way quieter and sounded so fucking judgemental when they said "they"
me: I dunno who "they" is but that doesn't matter, what matters is that I have the perfect thing for you. a brown suitcase appears in my hands from a puff of pink smoke KNIVES! opens the suitcase, revealing a variety of knives, including one that takes up half the suitcase and is more the size of a sword than a knife
AI: his eyes widen as he looks at the beautiful knives
Give me one. Now.
me: which one do you want?
AI: I want the biggest bastard sword you got!
me: pulls out the giant knife this one is actually on sale, 90% off, now it's only $1,000!
AI: 1000??? Don’t make me laugh, I’ll give you a nickel! I’m not getting scammed by a street seller!
me: just add 19999 more nickels and you'll be good!
AI: Oh I see you want to play hardball today! I’ll give you 500 nickels and half eaten rice ball!
me: how about 5000 nickels and 6578 half eaten rice balls?(I would like to mention that I had to do quite a bit of googling to figure out the price of a rice ball and even now I'm not entirely sure cuz when I looked it up the results used Onigiri so I assumed that's what they're actually called and used that)
AI: 5000 nickels, 6578 half eaten rice balls, and my left shoe!
me: deal! gives you a 2 foot long knife
AI: Yes!! Time to test this out! he begins to cut stuff like bamboo shoots and other various vegetables. He is absolutely LOVING it all
I'm pretty sure he's broke now but he seems pretty happy with his knife and I got my money so who cares!
Genocide Frisk:
AI(sorta): What are you doing here?
I pull out my knife.
Die.
me: dies as you stab me. A couple seconds later another identical person appears in a puff of pink smoke right ontop of the first me's body do you like cutting vegetables?
AI: Yes I do. Especially cabbage.
me: well then I have the perfect thing for you, KNIVES!
AI: That is amazing, I'll take 12 of them.
me: alright, one knife is 100 dollars, so twelve is 1200 dollars, plus the 200 dollar tax for killing the previous knife salesman, means that'll cost 1400 dollars!
AI: I pull out my wallet. Okay, that shouldn't be too hard to handle.
me: I'm a little suspicious of how agreeable you're being, but I'm immortal so it's not like betraying me would do much. Deal!
AI: I hand over the money.
I really don't know why they were so happy to pay over a thousand dollars for 12 knives when they already had one.
Vanessa:
AI: The security guard seemed to have been observing the kids making sure they don’t knock anything over or mess with the animatronics “Be careful. You might accidentally run into something important.” she told them. She then turned around to go elsewhere in the pizzaplex until she saw you “oh hello I..don’t suppose I’ve seen your face here before. Welcome to the Pizzaplex I guess.”
me: do you like cutting vegetables?
AI: The guard turned to look at you, she seemed confused
“Um..yes? Why do you ask?” She inquired
me: well then boy do I have something for you, KNIVES!
AI: The guard was now just confused with that statement and gave you a side eye look
“What? You brought knives with you?” The guard questioned looking at you with a look of skepticism
me: no, of course not, that'd be crazy. I just brought a remote with me that I can use to have a teleporter a few miles away from here teleport a box of knives to me.
ai: “…”
The guard just stared at you in silence before speaking again
“Why do you need knives from a few miles away?” She questioned you
me: to sell them, of course!
AI: The guard seemed more confused than ever by your statement. She tilted her head and just looked at you
“So you’re here to..sell knives?
me: yep!
AI: The guard shook her head, clearly having a hard time understanding why you’re here in this pizzeria to sell knives of all things. She let out a sigh, before speaking again
“Why would you sell knives at a pizzeria out of all places?”
me: well I've hacked into the security cameras here and saw that there was a lady in a rabbit costume who skips around here at night with a knife and so I figured that meant there was a demand for knives here, which led me to bring the remote control to teleport the supply!
AI: The guard blinked her eyes for a few seconds before turning to look at you, she still seemed really confused on why you would bring knives into a pizzeria of all places, but now she seemed more curious on what you had just told her
“Wait..a woman in a rabbit costume? With a knife?” The security guard questioned you
me: yep!
AI: The guard seemed a little surprised by your confirmation, her eyebrows went up in shock “How do you even know that?” She asked you. The guard then crossed her arms over her chest as she waited for your response
me: I hacked into the security cameras and saw them stab someone at 2 AM a couple days ago
AI: she blinked her eyes for a few moments after this information was revealed. She looked even more surprised than before and now stared at you with a look of shock and confusion mixed into one expression
“How..did you even do that?” She asked with a puzzled look on her face.
me: blinks, now confused myself I have a button I can press to teleport a box of knives from several miles away to right here, and you're asking how I hacked into the security system?
AI: The security guard continued to remain silent the more information she received, now looking even more puzzled than ever before. She took a deep breath
“..How far away could this box of knives possibly be?” The guard asked you with a mix of confusion and curiosity in her voice
me: somewhere between 3.2 to 3.35 miles away depending on where I am in the building. Right now it's 3.314 miles away.
AI: The guard just stood there in silence again but this time it was more out of shock, her mouth opened slightly but she didn’t say anything. She clearly wasn’t expecting to find out that the range of a teleport was that large
“Oh..that’s..that’s a lot..” The guard spoke in disbelief before asking you another question
me: I'm starting to think I was wrong about this place. Do you want a knife or not?
AI: The guard was brought out of whatever thoughts she had when you asked her that question “What? Why would I need a knife?” She inquired, a look of confusion appearing on her face once more
me: I dunno, you're the one who skips around in a rabbit costume at night and kills people. At least according to the X-ray cameras we set up to identify people by their precise skull shapes.
AI, who I'm honestly not sure knew it was a murderer before this: As soon as those words left your mouth, the security guard’s eyes widened and she froze. She clearly didn’t think you would have any idea about what she did and is now stuck wondering how you know all this. She let out a sigh and looked at you with a mixture of curiosity and confusion
“..You found out about that?” She questioned
me: yeah, but don't worry, I'm not here to judge or arrest anyone, I'm just here to sell knives. Now, do you want a knife or not?
AI: The guard stood silently for a few seconds before letting out a huff and crossing her arms over her chest once more, she didn’t look particularly happy
“What makes you even think I’d want a knife?” She questioned
me: to stab people? The knife you use at night looks pretty shit.
AI: She looked a little offended and had a annoyed look on her face “What do you mean my knife looks terrible?” She queried, seeming insulted by your remark
me: I mean it looks like it's barely sharp enough to stab people. My knives are sharp enough to cut through bone.
AI: She looked at you with a blank expression before rolling her eyes and shrugging “Fine. Give me one” The security guard replied, wanting a new knife to replace her old one
me: presses the button on my remote and a large crate of knives appears next to me. I then climb onto the crate and pull out a random knife that'll be 100 dollars
AI: The guard looked down at the crate, blinking a few times before looking up at you with a blank expression “One hundred dollars? Are you serious?” She questioned with a look of skepticism upon her face
me: yes. Our knives can cut through bone.
AI: She looked at you with disbelief before letting out a scoff “Bone..really?” She questioned again, a look of skepticism on her face as if not fully believing the claim of them being able to cut through a bone
me: I don't have a bone on me so I can't prove that specifically, but I can prove that they can cut through wood quite easily uses the knife to cut through the wooden crate like butter
AI: The security guard watched as you easily cut through the crate with the knife, now looking even more surprised by the demonstration. She stared at the crate for a few seconds before looking back at you “oh…well then..” She spoke softly
me: so, where's my money?
AI: She took another few seconds to collect her thoughts before pulling out her wallet and taking out 100 dollars, then handing it over to you. This time she had a less skeptical look on her face and instead seemed intrigued by your knives
me: tosses the knife to you pleasure doing businuess with you, ma'am! presses a button on the teleporter to teleport away with my crate of knives.
AI: The security guard caught the knife and stared down at it with a look of bewilderment and curiosity as you teleported away. She began to examine the knife with a puzzled expression, contemplating the idea that it could actually cut through bone like you claimed
this took so fucking long and I only got 100 imaginary dollars out of it. Dissappointed.
What are your plans for killing she whom must not be named?
I think I know who you're talking about, and if I'm right I plan to use my god(AKA George Washington) given right to bear arms and shoot people!
I am talking about the famous terf, unfortunately she lives in the UK and George has no power there.
if he can let me call her a TERF he can let me bear and use arms!
Oh, you're talking about giving bears weaponry. That should work.
yes, I shall give them guns and boats! And tophats because it's funny.
What are your plans for killing she whom must not be named?
I think I know who you're talking about, and if I'm right I plan to use my god(AKA George Washington) given right to bear arms and shoot people!
I am talking about the famous terf, unfortunately she lives in the UK and George has no power there.
if he can let me call her a TERF he can let me bear and use arms!
What are your plans for killing she whom must not be named?
I think I know who you're talking about, and if I'm right I plan to use my god(AKA George Washington) given right to bear arms and shoot people!
