hot takes or anything too depressing or degen to say anywhere else
DONT WASH VEGETABLES WITH SOAP JESSICA
jess and i are raising money to help rajaa and her family get out of gaza! tell me in the tags, what is your favorite vegetable that you are NOT washing with soap?
im so incredibly proud of the queer community’s ability to step up and organize. i have had so much hope and faith renewed in the power of community and solidarity through this.
i am exhausted but also i am not ready to be done.
jess and i are now targeting a new goal. raja’s sister saja has already crossed the border into egypt but almost the entirety of the rest of raja and saja’s family are still trapped in gaza. there are 9 adults and 12 children including a pregnant mother and a elder diabetic man who need medical attention as soon as possible. the goal they are hoping to reach is €112,000 for everyone to cross safely.
this is so much larger than our previous goal and we are already exhausted and terrified that nothing we do will be enough. but i have renewed faith in my community and i sure as hell am going to keep trying.
if you are able to donate or boost, every little bit helps.
Not really a fan of Bridgerton, but I am a fan of Nicola Coughlan’s response to everyone shitting on her for being “too big” to play a love interest
for pride month 2024 we’re gonna nuke 10 of your mutuals’ blogs and 9 of them are run by transfems 😍
this is about the blogger you’re thinking about. this is about the blogger who had thousands of followers and got nuked for no reason. this is about the one who was always kind and understanding and never did anything wrong, never broke TOS.
but it’s also about the blogger you’ve never heard of. it’s about the one on your DNI. this is about the mean one. the one you saw that callout post about. this is about the one who had maybe a few dozen followers at most. this is about the one who’s not white. this is about the “problematic” one. this is about the blogger who’s annoying, the one who complains all the time. this is about the one you have blocked. the one you reported.
staff only enforces the rules when they want to, on who they want to. i’ve had so many mutuals whose blogs were deleted just in the last couple months and all but two were transfems. it doesn’t matter who “broke TOS” or not (and clearly it doesn’t to staff, either) — no one deserves to get cut off from their community. stop fucking nuking my mutuals.
This blogger had a live and accessible blog yesterday (6/12/24) when I first saw this post.
this is reece, previously soft-caramel. i’m a brown transmasc fagdyke butch thing. soft-caramel was terminated around 5-6 AM pacific time on june 13th, 2024, according to my mutual. this post was originally posted the evening of june 11th, 2024. they got me in under 48 hours. they did not send me any explanation as to why i’d been terminated.
i’m not transfem. i’ve been seeing all my lovely mutuals get nuked for being transfem or calling out staff/users on their transmisogyny and it’s my turn to be the tenth, i guess. it’s ramped up since the month started, too. like. 10 is such an under-estimate, i’ve seen more blogs than that get terminated in the last week.
please listen to transfems when they talk about transmisogyny, amplify their voices, and speak out yourself, especially if you’re tme. and remember that any marginalisation and discrimination one experiences gets worse the more marginalised groups someone is a part of.
it doesn’t matter how small your blog is, use your voice. i had 300 followers when i posted that the other evening. this has 20k notes now. love your sisters forever
My new meds make my skin throw a fit. It’s not terribly bad, just a few things here and there, but it’s bumming me out because I’ve never really had too many run-ins with acne.
My four-year-old sister, however, is under the impression that it’s just “3D freckles”, and that they look very, very pretty. She wants all of my freckles to “pop out”, especially the ones across my nose; they’re her favourite.
And it puts me in this weird position where I can’t say, “No, this is acne, and it’s bad,” because I don’t want to teach her that it’s a bad to have unclear skin, you know?
Because the more I think about interactions I have with children, the more I realise that children will consistently compliment “flaws” until they’ve been taught not to.
Like, a kid at the library, whose sister has vitiligo, saw my scars once and suggested that his sister and I should be cats for Halloween, since I have “tabby skin” and she has “calico skin”. “I can be a black cat,” he immediately added. “It’s not AS cool, but they’re the spookiest.”
When I started losing weight, my little brother immediately demanded that I gain it back, because I wasn’t as comfortable to cuddle with anymore.
And my other little sister always wants to wear her paint-stained clothes to school so that “everyone can tell [she’s] an artist”.
I don’t know. I guess talking to little kids just reminds me that all of this superficial shit we worry about really is 100% made up.
“I reported her because she was posting NSFW without mature labels which is against TOS!!!” you’d narc on someone for having their tits out at a gay bar because it’s illegal you simply are not trustworthy
Defending yourself by saying that censoring the sexuality of trans women is actually morally correct and justified. Actually just makes you look more like a bitch, believe it or not. Especially considering how often the “NSFW posts” in question often amounted to little more than armpit and forcefem jokes
If they are ACTUALLY posting nsfw (which I define as having boobs/pussy/dick out) without warning, report away! Otherwise you’re a massive jerk for reporting.
You’d narc on someone for having their tits out at a gay bar because it’s illegal you’re simply not trustworthy.
Need to have that kind of t4t makeout sex where we start merging together and losing track of which body parts belong to who and by the end there’s only one of us left but it’s both of us, in one body.
That’d fix me. Or kill me. Either way, what bliss?
Hey, sorry for setting a bit of a depressing tone with this ask but im a struggling baby trans girl
Do you have any advice for coping with the thoughts of "i will never manage to mold my body into a woman's body"?
Right now i am unable to start transitioning due to multiple reasons - both social (especially family) and hrt accessibility related - and my biggest issue with my body is that it's just.. annoyingly masculine. Ever since i was 14 my legs had more and longer hair than my 30-something old cousin's husband. Ever since i was 12 i started feeling too ashamed of my body to wear short pants and it was only this year that i started feeling a bit more ok about it (I will not disclose my age publicly, but i am in university).
And it's like. It's so exhausting to look in the mirror and not only not recognise the face as my own, but often actively hate it. To look at my body and to barely tolerate it anymore
There are some things that i've tried. I've trimmed my leg hair (to a fourth of its original size), and the instant my parents noticed they mocked me. I'm trying to let my hair grow but not only am i getting bombarded with questions of "when are you gonna get a haircut/let me give you a haircut" from all members of my family, it's also in that incredibly awkwards state which i know i will have to push through, but it still makes it even harder for me to look into the mirror
Once again, sorry for the tone of this ask, but do you have any words of hope or advice?
im sorry youre going through all of that. its incredibly difficult and i feel for you.
i think that one thing that i frequently see from people in the earliest stages in transition is the struggle of feeling like they will never see themselves in the mirror. and i get it. i was 29 by the time i started hormones and a big part of why i was scared to do it was because i also thought that i was never going to look the way i wanted to. and whether or not we like it, there is safety in being able to say, oh if i dont look the way i want to, then its better for me not to try at all. its a horrible feeling but its one that you’ve lived with for years and there is safety in the familiarity.
but that’s the thing - no one ever looks 100% the way they want to. i dont know a single person who hasnt had the struggle of looking in the mirror and wishing they could change something. and yes, we as trans people face that much more than most other people but it is a human experience to want to change and better ourselves.
after four years of being on hormones, i still look in the mirror and see things i want to change but also that feeling is much much less now. and its not just the hormones either. i like the way i dress because i wear what i want to. i like my hair because i decided i wanted to grow it out and change the color. i stopped molding my appearance to fit other people’s expectations. and in doing so, i found that liking something about myself mattered far more than if other peopled like it.
so shave your legs! grow out your hair! when people ask you questions, dont answer or tell them to fuck off! you dont need to make excuses for yourself because you dont need an excuse to be who you want to be.
im gonna be completely honest with you - it will not be easy. and youre not going to wake up tomorrow and suddenly find that your entire perspective has changed. in fact it is very likely, and very human, to continue to question the decisions you make. but always remember, you know who you are. and if you dont know, then only you are capable of finding out.
and so i say with all the love in the world, i hope you find yourself and learn to love yourself in the process <3
I’ll also note, and this is going to be difficult too, that patience is not only necessary (that part’s hard) but worth it. Trusting that you will get more independence, trusting that if you hang on and keep remembering what you want, you can keep (slowly) moving toward it. Eventually, you can move out and (if you want) have more space to yourself or with people who more directly support YOU.
And when you do that, and when you can live more of the way you want to? You’ll still have good days and bad days. There will be days where you notice something small like something about the way you smile at yourself that will bring so much joy and it’s amazing. And there will be days when something about your hair, your skin, your bones will stand out and you can’t look past it, and it sucks.
And after 6 months being out at work and 2 months on HRT (I’ve been lucky) as “old” as I am? The days where I’m happy are happening more and more often. It will never be every day. But it gets better, if you know what you want and you manage to stick with it, and find people who support you for who you are.
Hey, sorry for setting a bit of a depressing tone with this ask but im a struggling baby trans girl
Do you have any advice for coping with the thoughts of "i will never manage to mold my body into a woman's body"?
Right now i am unable to start transitioning due to multiple reasons - both social (especially family) and hrt accessibility related - and my biggest issue with my body is that it's just.. annoyingly masculine. Ever since i was 14 my legs had more and longer hair than my 30-something old cousin's husband. Ever since i was 12 i started feeling too ashamed of my body to wear short pants and it was only this year that i started feeling a bit more ok about it (I will not disclose my age publicly, but i am in university).
And it's like. It's so exhausting to look in the mirror and not only not recognise the face as my own, but often actively hate it. To look at my body and to barely tolerate it anymore
There are some things that i've tried. I've trimmed my leg hair (to a fourth of its original size), and the instant my parents noticed they mocked me. I'm trying to let my hair grow but not only am i getting bombarded with questions of "when are you gonna get a haircut/let me give you a haircut" from all members of my family, it's also in that incredibly awkwards state which i know i will have to push through, but it still makes it even harder for me to look into the mirror
Once again, sorry for the tone of this ask, but do you have any words of hope or advice?
im sorry youre going through all of that. its incredibly difficult and i feel for you.
i think that one thing that i frequently see from people in the earliest stages in transition is the struggle of feeling like they will never see themselves in the mirror. and i get it. i was 29 by the time i started hormones and a big part of why i was scared to do it was because i also thought that i was never going to look the way i wanted to. and whether or not we like it, there is safety in being able to say, oh if i dont look the way i want to, then its better for me not to try at all. its a horrible feeling but its one that you’ve lived with for years and there is safety in the familiarity.
but that’s the thing - no one ever looks 100% the way they want to. i dont know a single person who hasnt had the struggle of looking in the mirror and wishing they could change something. and yes, we as trans people face that much more than most other people but it is a human experience to want to change and better ourselves.
after four years of being on hormones, i still look in the mirror and see things i want to change but also that feeling is much much less now. and its not just the hormones either. i like the way i dress because i wear what i want to. i like my hair because i decided i wanted to grow it out and change the color. i stopped molding my appearance to fit other people’s expectations. and in doing so, i found that liking something about myself mattered far more than if other peopled like it.
so shave your legs! grow out your hair! when people ask you questions, dont answer or tell them to fuck off! you dont need to make excuses for yourself because you dont need an excuse to be who you want to be.
im gonna be completely honest with you - it will not be easy. and youre not going to wake up tomorrow and suddenly find that your entire perspective has changed. in fact it is very likely, and very human, to continue to question the decisions you make. but always remember, you know who you are. and if you dont know, then only you are capable of finding out.
and so i say with all the love in the world, i hope you find yourself and learn to love yourself in the process <3
hi, i promise this question is in good faith, i genuinely just want your opinion!
as an asian tguy, i've noticed a phenomenon of white tgirls constantly using anime gifs to express their feelings or use to represent their reactions. and while i agree that anime is very cute, it stirs something in me when i scroll through so many blogs that ONLY use anime gifs to react. idk it would make me feel less weird about it if there was more variation i think but. maybe i’m overreacting?
i want to support my people and be anti-racist but i also don't want to end up with a transphobic belief in the process. i figured you'd be a good person to ask as a fellow asian on the "other side" of it all. sorry if this is tedious to read and answer
unfortunately there is no easy answer for this and the short answer is “it depends”.
the root of this issue lies in both objectification and also the difference between appreciation and appropriation. there is absolutely an issue with people in general objectifying asians and appropriating asian culture and this is not limited to just white people or white trans fems; this is a problem with western culture as a whole.
but it is very important to add that i do believe that your singling out of white trans fems is somewhat unfair. there is absolutely an issue of white queer and trans people misunderstanding intersectionality and failing to recognize their white privilege but the way that white trans fems interact with anime is no different than the way that all of western culture treats things like anime and k-pop.
so regarding the “it depends”, what matters is ultimately that each and every person is responsible for dismantling their own privileges and biases. there is no sweeping generalization that i or anyone else can make that says “this is bad” when ultimately it comes down to how each person interacts with the media they consume. are there people who appropriate and interact with anime inappropriately? yes absolutely. but there are others who don’t too.
and so even if this is an issue, we cannot address this issue to an entire community because we don’t know how each individual is thinking, and even if we did, (and this is very important) we cannot do a damn thing to change it other than to provide education.
push too hard, it goes nowhere. if someone isn’t ready to hear something or isn’t in the process of dismantling their own privileges and biases, it goes nowhere.
your discomfort is valid but there is nothing to do but continue to advocate and ask allies to do the same.
