Curated by ADHD, baby!

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Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna

Welcome New Followers!!

I seem to have picked up a bunch of new followers recently? So I wanted to do my usual *awkward wave* and hello and make sure you know what you’re getting yourself into.

  • Jan. 2023 - NOW phdmama (NO HYPHEN!!). phdmama on AO3.
  • I’m an adult. I swear. I post NSFW. 
  • I love many ships and I read pretty widely across my chosen fandom (Drarry, FirstPrince, Buddie, Stucky, Sterek, Destial, OMG CP, Larry on occasion, just to name some). (ETA I’m so sorry folks but apparently we’re adding hockey now too - 3/2023)
  • When I love stuff, I love it hard and I get very enthusiastic. My biggest goal is to be a positive voice in the fandom, to support my fellow creators.
  • I’m a writer. Writing has brought me community and joy and friends. I’m not currently looking for concrit from folks I don’t know, as I have a strong and supportive writing community. (Note: all my fics are locked on AO3 so that you need to be logged in to see them! Nothing has been deleted!)
  • I am a huge proponent of supporting people writing exactly what they want. I love people who tag well but I understand that all fic is enter at your risk.
  • Respectfully, I prefer that people don’t “continue” or “finish” any of my writing (drabbles, vignettes) for me without talking to me first.  Thank you so much for understanding!
  • I’m a huge proponent of curating your own internet experience. It’s all opt in baby, and if you want or need to opt out, no harm no foul.
  • I have ADHD and I’m bad about remembering to queue (trying to get better), so you may just get a flurry of posts from me. Sorry.
  • I post a lot of non-fandom stuff too. Things I think are funny or thoughtful or moving. I also post things I think about. I try very hard to tag for difficult content (and I’m very willing to try and tag specifically if needed but I really cannot guarantee that, so if that’s a thing you need, this may not be a safe blog for you).  I post my own poetry. Occasionally my own photography.

So, if this sounds good, welcome and yay! I’m so glad to see you!

Pinned Post wandering pain introduction
fraddit
i-am-a-fish

Sex Ed Time

ok I'm gonna tell you about some things that might happen if you are transitioning m->f. this is not a comprehensive list just my own experience, be sure to do your own research I just really wanted to voice how this affects me because I think open discussion about this type of stuff is just more helpful for everyone rather than keeping it private

  1. BOOBS HURT WHEN THEY GROW
  2. your sex drive (libido) will probably go down a lot
  3. facial hair is very hard to get rid of
  4. my go-to gender affirming clothing is high-waisted jeans. I suggest going to a goodwill or some sort of cheap store that lets you try on clothes to figure out what you like
  5. muscle mass will go down, fat will be redistributed
  6. boobs do all sorts of crazy stuff when you run / exercise
  7. overtime your skin will get softer, you also might smell nicer, and I've been told it can thin body hair but I don't really see it all that much 🤷
  8. your brain chemistry can change when you reduce testosterone and increase estrogen, there are lots of factors that contribute toward any changes to your personality, but hormones can have an impact as well. for me this is a good thing because I struggle with allowing myself to feel emotions sometimes, no matter how hard I tried I was never really able to get myself to cry. I've gotten closer to being able to cry since I started transitioning though and that makes me very happy
  9. this is a slow process that can take several years, ultimately you're going to be in your body for several years regardless, so if this is something you want it's definitely something you should try to pursue if possible. the time will pass anyways, and it does feel nice to work towards something that can make you happier.
  10. also this is very important, you don't need to do any sort of hormone replacement therapy in order to be trans. not everybody can access HRT, and for those who can access it, not everybody wants to take on all the changes that come with treatments. you don't have to chemically or physically change your body in any way in order to deserve respect

all right that's all I have for right now feel free to add anything in the comments, I would especially like to hear from trans men what your experiences have been, I think openly talking about these types of things can really help some people

mindfulwrath

Going the other way (f -> m) :

  1. Your clit may well be the first thing that changes. Mine started to grow noticeably after just a few weeks on even a low dose of T.
  2. You will get so fucking horny. Not even for anybody (or maybe that's because I'm ace), just abstractly, distractingly horny. Every day. No, really, every day. Invest in a vibrator. (In my experience this cools off after the first year or so.)
  3. Your facial hair will grow in stupid and scraggly. You'll have weird bald spots. You may grow a neck beard. You probably won't want to shave it. You don't have to shave it. Look weird, who gives a fuck.
  4. It's fine to dress like a frat boy or a mall goth or a lumberjack or all three at once. You can wear cargo shorts and flip-flops. You can go outside looking like you crawled through your laundry hamper to get there. It will feel illegal the first 100 times you do it and then you will be free.
  5. You'll build muscle even if you maintain the exact same level of activity as when you were estrogen-dominant. Muscles are hungry and you will want to eat more. Eat more. Aim for proteins and leafy greens. Watch your cholesterol and salt intake because your blood pressure will probably go up.
  6. Your hemoglobin will also go up. This is nice because anemia sucks, but it can become problematic if it gets too high. Consider donating blood a couple times a year if you can.
  7. Your periods can stop after a couple months, but they might not (mine did). If you stop taking T, they'll come back. If your dosage is too high, they can also come back (excess testosterone gets converted into estrogen - this also happens to naturally testosterone-dominant people).
  8. Voice changes start around the couple-month mark and your voice will be weird for a while. The initial drop is chaotic and squeaky, then it will settle, but it's probably not done changing. Keep using and stretching your voice, because I'm seven years in and while my voice has mostly found its range I've lost a couple semitones off the top and added them to the bottom in the last few years. Also, cis people are terrible at clocking T-voices, so don't worry about it. Plenty of cis men sound just like you. Seriously.
  9. Crying might get harder, or it might just get weirder. I attribute most of my lack of tears to being happier these days, but strange things make me misty-eyed. Hard to disentangle what's psychology and what's endocrinology.
  10. You'll get real hairy and its fine. Yes on your belly. Yes on your chest. Yes on your back and your knuckles and around your nipples. You'll have shoulder hairs long enough to braid. You'll get hair in places you didn't know hair grew and you'll have bald spots in places you never thought about being bald. Unless you're a competitive swimmer or cyclist, don't fuckin worry about it. Get weirded out by how smooth Hollywood men are instead. Why are we waxing these men like sports cars?
  11. Love the fuzz. Love the armpit stank and the weird-smelling pee and the sweaty back (you'll run hotter after a while). Love the voice cracks, they'll be gone soon. Love your flattening butt and your thinning lips and the new parts of your forehead you get to see as your hairline changes. Love your body, by God, love your body! You made it! It's yours!
trans stuff why are we waxing these men like sports cars? 😂😂😂
corinnetags
scarlettohairdye

YOOOOO I just got an email from my senator (Patty Murray) about the new PERMANENT summer EBT program she helped push through for families with school-age kids who need additional help affording food in the summer! Most of the US is participating*! Spread the word!

SUN Bucks is a new grocery benefit available across most of the U.S. Families with eligible school-aged children can get $120 per child to buy groceries during the summer. SUN Bucks may have a different name depending on your location.
Families can receive SUN Bucks on top of other benefits like SNAP and WIC, and children can continue to enjoy free SUN Meals from local meal sites or with SUN Meals To-Go.

If you're already receiving certain benefits, you should already be signed up. If you're not, you can apply directly! Check it out!

https://www.fns.usda.gov/summer/sunbucks

*Guess who isn't 🙃

AMAZING!!!! feed some kids
tsnbrainrot
baelajace

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Chris Evans as Steve Rogers and Hayley Atwell as Peggy Carter
CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER
2011 | dir. Joe Johnston

stealing your tags! there's many things to be angry about re: endgame but the way it turned every stucky shippers into anti steggy/anti peggy folks is up there as a bi steve truther i simply think stevepeggy was a very sweet romance shouldnt have been his endgame but still anyways captain america steve rogers