Subterranean Canary

1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
lolgmalolg-did-nothing-wrong
audliminal

Me meeting a genie: Okay, so my first wish is for 1000 dollars a day, deposited to my bank account without any way of tracing it to anything illegal. I want this money to come from the ten richest people in America (100 dollars each), withdrawn under the guise of nebulous, random purchases and surcharges. It would probably be best to split the money into a myriad of smaller fees, though, to reduce the likelihood of anyone noticing. Got all that?

Genie: um

Me, continuing on without a care: For my SECOND wish, I want you to give me the ability to learn any given phoneme, so that I can learn to pronounce new languages perfectly. If you're willing, it'd be nice if it were a little easier to memorize new languages too, but if that's not cool, I'm perfectly fine doing all the legwork myself I mostly just want to be capable of pronouncing things correctly.

Genie, now staring at me like I'm insane: ......okaaayyy?....

Me: For my third wish. I want to always have great ideas for gifts for people. Every birthday, every holiday, I want to be able to come up with something they'd really like, with enough time to actually get it for them.

Genie, just staring at me

Me: I can provide you with a written document if that would help.

beautifulscreaminglady

people like op are the ones that get memorialized in folk tales for outwitting the devil

juneofbones
juneofbones

One of my favorite lil lonelyeyes takes is that I fully believe they get divorced via full legal process. Every. Single. Time. Every little scrap of paperwork meticulously filled out, every possible opportunity to scream at each other in a courtroom. Divorce attorneys simultaneously rich and traumatized. It’s chock full of misery and loneliness and the feeling of being judged. It’s the worst, most bureaucratic foreplay ever to exist. And I find it delightful.

prismatic-bell
sprinkledsalt

People have been told repeatedly for the past several years that Joe Biden has a lifelong stutter. Speech pathologists have confirmed that this is how people with stutters talk, and that language/speech deterioration due to cognitive decline does not look like this. I don't think anyone who says Biden has dementia is merely lacking knowledge anymore. It's either they're ratfucking, or they really do think speech impediments automatically equal cognitive decay.

I don't have a stutter, but I know the frustration of struggling to get words out; it's especially embarrassing during a serious, heated conversation. People use your momentary error to pounce. In general, every time I trip over some speech sounds because of my lingering childhood speech impediment, I worry that people disregard the content of my words and think I'm stupid, because that's clearly how a lot of people feel.

ajora

Typing as someone with a stutter, I've come to learn real quick whom I can't trust anymore when the subject of Biden's speech patterns comes up.

He speaks a lot better than I do, but uses a lot of the same speech therapy tricks I was taught when I was a kid. Easy onset. Word substitution/"gaffes" when the word I actually want to use can't come out. So on. To anyone with real experience with stuttering and speech therapy, his tactics are familiar and easily recognizable.

The dementia accusation and assumption of low intelligence is just more of the ableism all stutterers end up dealing with.

prismatic-bell

What makes it all the more infuriating is, there IS a candidate with probable dementia.


IT’S TRUMP.


If you can stomach it, go listen to an interview he gave in the 80s. Any interview will do, you just want it to be at least thirty years old. You’ll quickly notice that while the shitty personality is the same, 80s!Trump didn’t have trouble following natural shifts in conversation and communicated (mostly) in clear sentences.


Now go listen to an assignment from The Apprentice. Again, any assignment will do. We know The Apprentice was heavily edited, so the true level of cognitive clarity he had at the time isn’t really possible to pinpoint from this. Even so, you’ll notice a small amount of halting speech. It’s the kind of thing you might take as him being deliberate and dramatic for the camera, if you weren’t familiar with what he sounded like only a decade before.


Now go listen to a piece of a 2016 rally. We’ve gotten to the point here where he switches sentences halfway through and often uses “you know” as a placeholder word while he tries to remember the word he actually wants.


Now go listen to anything he’s said in the last year.


THAT is what dementia sounds like. The inability to keep on topic as he forgets the question, the looping around, the placeholder words. You can also see it in his handwriting; his signature has deteriorated significantly, a symptom shared by Ronald Reagan. And rather interestingly, do a quick lookup of “Trump signs bill” and check out the headline photos. About one-third show him either in the act of signing a bill or holding up a bill he’s just signed. Now replace “Trump” with Biden, Obama, Bush, or Clinton. The number of photos of a bill actually being signed absolutely skyrockets. Bush is a little bit of an outlier because he had a habit of looking at the camera, so he’s often about to sign but hasn’t yet, but you can still see he’s clearly capable of doing so. Why are there so few pictures, by comparison, of Trump actually signing legislation? It’s a great photo op for any president, and Trump will sign anything not nailed down. How was this so rarely documented?

Well…it might help if you know Reagan was often kept from writing publicly after his dementia started to accelerate. It was too easy to see he was having trouble holding a pen. If the internet had existed during Reagan’s incumbency I’d be willing to bet cash the “Reagan signs bill” search would look like the Trump one.


Biden does not have dementia. Biden has a disability that does not affect his cognitive abilities or impair his ability to do the job of president of the United States.


Stop falling for the DARVO bit, and start remembering that the last time we had a president with dementia, his presidency was so disastrous you can literally see the effects on any graph you care to look at. I’ll take a thousand presidents with a stutter and a heart over a single DAY of a second Trump presidency.

this might be very interesting for my american friends I'm so glad I can ignore most of this clusterfuck and if I care to check on it I can watch safely from far away