“Kill them with kindness”

Nah, fuck that, CRICKET BAT 🏏 🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*

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Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

don't listen to the haters haiku bot you got everything perfect

don’t listen to the

haters haiku bot you got

everything perfect

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

specifically, Ms. Pacmen are the default form of the species and the only ones capable of engaging in reproduction. what we call ‘pacmen’ are in fact just the sterile worker drones. you see more pacmen in games bc as drones it’s their job to collect the majority of food (dots) for the hive.

my evidence is what happens when you flip an image of Ms. Pacman upside down

like the flounder, Ms. Pacmen have two eyes on one side of their head. the eyes are asymmetrical but fully functional. Thus, given the unusual symmetry of the Pac Man body, we may observe an interesting phenomenon:

that’s right! what we commonly identify as a hair bow may equally be described as a bowtie. this is because, as the external genitalia of a hermaphrodite species, it is capable of both impregnating and being impregnated. The sterile drones naturally lack this appendage (whether they or born sterile or forcibly neutered by fellow hive members is a matter of scientific disagreement.)

this leads to my next hypothesis, the pacmen are the larval form of clowns.

all i ever sought from life was to cause disquietude 

I mean, there’s evidence?

But if this is true, what are the other growth stages?

this leads to my third point, that pacmen regularly cannibalize their young, aka the ‘dot’ larval form. it is this act of infanticide around which gameplay revolves

Gaud why

A Queen Pacman that has reached full adult size may choose to take on a human host, depending on availability. it attaches itself to the host’s nose, which eventually withers and falls off, leaving the parasite to grow swollen and bright red as it fills with blood, and infecting the host with toxins that alter its physiology & neurology to that of the common Clown. 

Interestingly, the characteristic ‘clown honking’ comes from squeezing the parasite, which is typically mistaken for the Clown’s nose. Honking is the Pacman’s way of vocalizing displeasure at the sudden expulsion of blood (after which the Pacman immediately refills itself). It is said the host organism experience rare glimpses of lucidity in these moments, but this is unconfirmable. 

month ONE of quarantine. one month.

happy pride to the men-lovers out there