Caffeine and Magix

writing-prompt-s:

Your workers always ask “Why do you put a self destruct button on your inventions?” Tired of their questioning, you decide to explain why it’s perfectly rational.

“Because,” you explain patiently, “there is a non-zero probability that Hero Force sends a hero with mind control powers after me one day. I’ve trained myself to resist most brainwashing for at least 12 seconds - just enough time to press that button.”

“You trained yourself to resist mind control?” your newest minion asks in awe.

“Every villain does,” you scoff. “As it is, 12 seconds is barely enough time.”

“Every villain tries,” your favorite minion says. He laughs every time you call him your minion which is, frankly, insulting, but he’s so damn effective you can’t bring yourself to care. “None except your boss over there.”

You swivel in you chair to frown at him. He’s leaning against the invention in question - a fairly standard freeze ray, though this one dependent on time manipulation rather than ice - and he isn’t in uniform again. He’s supposed to be wearing the subdued purple or maroon office attire you provide all your minions. Instead he’s wearing clothing very similar to yours - leather and kevlar.

“Your boss too,” you say.

“Are you still on that?” he asks.

“How can I resist brainwashing?” your newest minion asks.

“By being a freak,” he says before you can answer.

You throw a wrench at his head.