Caffeine and Magix

writing-prompt-s:

in a world where you get superpowers for doing good deeds, write the story of a super villain.

“Henchmen are a necessity, of course,” Jimena says out loud, leaning back in her desk chair. She’s supposed to be fielding her boss’ calls, but it’s nearly five and Mr. Rural had left nearly an hour ago, leaving her to make his excuses.

Again.

 Yesterday he’d left two hours early, the day before that nearly three hours early, and the day before that–

Jimena takes a deep, calming breath.

This is why she needs henchmen. Or rather, the need for henchmen is a byproduct of what this really calls for.

———————————–

“You want to become a super villain,” Loyda says flatly, setting her coffee cup on the table with enough force that Jimena half expects it to shatter. “Are you out of your mind?”

Jimena darts a glance around the cafe, looking for any eavesdroppers. It’s fairly crowded, being one of the more popular breakfast spots in this area, but they’re sitting in the back corner away from everyone else. Unless there’s a do-gooder with super hearing, they’re not going to be overheard.

“Not yet, but I will be,” Jimena complains. She slumps, burying her face in her hands. “Why would the universe give someone like him powers? Why?”

Jimena knows why. She’s the only one besides the police who knows just what good deed Mr. Rural had done to get his power. She’s not supposed to know what his power is, but Mr. Rural has never been able to hide anything from his secretary. 

To think that a month ago, when the event had happened, she’d actually thought he was cool.

She sits up and rubs a frustrated hand over her face. “I’ve had to reschedule virtually every meeting he’s had this week! Sometimes when the meeting was already happening. At this rate, I’ll be the CFO in a week but still getting paid my shit salary.”

“So your solution is give him more work as a hero,” Loyda says, raising one eyebrow. Her friend’s voice is very dry. “That’ll definitely get him to do his job. I can’t believe I didn’t see the genius of it all before.”

Jimena points the spoon she’d used to stir her coffee at her best friend. “I don’t need your sarcasm. It actually is genius, thank you very much. All I need to do is show him that being a hero isn’t nearly as fun as he thinks and he’ll quit. Boom, problem solved.”

“Say that’s true,” Loyda says, leaning forward. “How are you going to do it? Do you even have a power that makes you a threat?”

Jimena’s cheeks flush. “Well, um, no. Not exactly.”

“You can’t count on a good deed magically falling into your lap,” Loyda points out. “There’s no guarantee you’ll get a power no matter what you do.”

“It wouldn’t work anyway,” Jimena says, avoiding her friend’s eyes. “I already have a power.” Very few people got more than one in their lifetime.

Loyda looks taken aback. “You do?” Her face darkens. “You’re about to tell me something dumb like being able to bake perfect cookies, aren’t you?”

“Not exactly,” Jimena says, wincing.

“What is it?” Loyda asks. When Jimena stays silent, she rolls her eyes. “Come on, we’ve been friends for this long, you can trust me.”

“It’s not that,” Jimena reassures quickly. “It’s just…it’s not very impressive.”

“Quit stalling and tell me,” Loyda demands.

Jimena does.

Loyda is not impressed.

—————————–

It’s shockingly easy to make a super villain costume. She gets everything she needs from a thrift shop, not wanting the paper trail receipts would create. She doesn’t need anything leading back to her. 

In the end, she spends like twenty bucks and comes out with a leather jack, faux leather pants, steel-toed boots, and a length of black fabric that’ll, hopefully, become her mask.

She stays up all night tailoring and sewing her costume, making sure that each piece fits perfectly. She can’t have it falling off in battle, after all.

———–

It’s disgustingly difficult to find good henchmen. The ad she puts online reads more like a fetish thing and she shouldn’t be as surprised as she is with the sort of response she gets.

In the end, she doesn’t hire any henchmen and is rather bitter about it.

————————-

Mr. Rural, known popularly to the public as Big Boar (as opposed to a similar hero on the other side of the country called “Boar”), is too high ranking to be sen out to deal with a new villain. There aren’t many heroes with super strength these days and, despite his newness, he’s an A rank hero.

Jimena is honest enough to admit that, currently, she’s probably an F rank villain.

She’s got to build a name for herself and figure out this henchman thing because there’s no way she’s going to actually fight Mr. Rural. The latter requires money, and the former can be accomplished by acquiring it.

Jimena is going to rob a bank.

She purses her lips and starts her research. Robbing a bank is easier said than done.

——————————————-

Well, it’s supposed to be.

————————————–

“I should have done this years ago,” Jimena says, standing in the vault of the bank. She looks around at the safety deposit boxes and shakes her head. No alarms, no security guards, no hostages. Just her standing in an empty room, surrounded by money and jewels.

She’s wearing her outfit and can’t help but be miffed that no one has caught sight of her yet. The tailoring really shows off all the yoga she’s done over the years.

“I should learn karate,” she says out loud, rubbing her chin. She’ll need to know how to fight for when she inevitably confronts a hero. But wait, shouldn’t this be over before she’d learn anything worthwhile?

Shit. She’s supposed to be robbing a bank, not debating how quickly she can learn a martial art.

 Jimena grabs the empty bag she’d brought and heads to the money. They’re bound just like in the movies, a thin paper strip holding ones, tens, twenties, fifties, and hundreds together. She starts shoveling them into the bag indiscriminately, trying not to think about the fact that she’d be going to jail for at least twenty years if caught.

It’s as she’s zipping her bag up that she realizes that she’s made what could have been a horrendous mistake. Some of this money must have ink packets in them or tracking or something to prevent her from actually spending it. She’d touch a loaded stack and ink would splatter all over her and she’d have to go into work with it staining her and Mr. Rural would realize what she’d done and he’d have her arrested and continue being a hero and–

“It’s chill,” she says, taking a calming breath. None of that has happened yet. “I just gotta find the packets.”

Luckily, she’s really good at things like that.

————————————————

Jimena’s not sure why she’s robbing another bank. She got enough money from the last heist to hire henchmen and even get a better costume. She should do something…louder to catch the public’s attention. Her first robbery had ended up in the papers, but no one had really made a fuss over it since there hadn’t been any hostages. She’s really got to focus on her reputation as a villain so that Big Boar will be sent to stop her.

It’s just that… well…

Who knew robbing banks would be so fun?

—————————————————

The fourth bank is when her luck runs out.

“Good thing we set up a motion detector,” a male voice says while she’s shoveling 20 grand into her bag. “No one saw you break in.”

Jimena freezes, gloved hands on the money. Oh shit. Oh shit. She knows that voice. She turns slowly, resisting the urge to put her hands up in the air.

Big Boar is standing in the open doorway, arms crossed over his broad chest. Behind him is a lower class hero she recognizes as Flashframe, a woman with the ability to create disorienting bursts of light.

“We thought it would be someone on the inside,” Big Boar continues. He takes a slow step forwards, into the vault room, trying to be intimidating. “The security measures were all lying on the ground at the last one. It made sense. And yet, you don’t seem to be with the bank. Who are you?”

Villain name, she thinks with chagrin, I knew I was forgetting something.

“Not going to answer, huh?” Big Boar says. He drops his arms and slides a foot back, getting into an attack position. “That’s fine, our orders are to arrest you. You can tell them at the station, villain.”

The thing about having someone lunge at you, Jimena quickly finds, is that there isn’t much time to think. She launches herself to the side, barely evading Big Boar’s grip. He collides with the metal shelving behind her instead and she’s horrified to hear the sound of twisting metal.

“You’re really strong,” she says, eyes locked on the huge dents in the shelf. Money flutters to the ground and she swallows hard. “Gotta watch that, hahahaha.”

His costume is much better than hers. A brown, furred cowl covers his brown hair and a pair of steampunk goggles obscure his brown eyes. His costume is more like armor than an actual costume to protect his vulnerable parts.

“Surrender,” Big Boar commands, turning to face her, “and you won’t get hurt.” He drops a handful of metal on the ground  and she sees where he tore it from the shelf.

I might actually die, she realizes, still staring at the twisted shelf. He might actually kill me.

“Fine,” Big Boar says and cracks his knuckles. “We’ll do it the hard way.” He lunges again.

He clips her this time, the blow to her shoulder making her entire arm numb. She’s pretty sure she hears something crack and a blinding pain shoots up her neck and directly to her head.

“Careful!” Flashframe shouts from outside the vault. “We can’t have another incident!”

Meaning he’s still not used to his super strength. Meaning he’s hurt someone before.

Meaning she really might die.

And suddenly she’s furious. No fucking way was Mr. Rural going to kill her. Not when he’s not even paying her.

I’ve got to find his weakness. I’m looking for his weakness. She feels her power activate, the sensation like low-grade electricity coursing through her body. A slightly strong tingle comes from her left, low, like what she’s looking for is on the ground. There.

“No,” she practically snarls at her boss, pointing a finger at his stupid, masked face. “You do not get to make me an incident.” She slides the left, closer to what she needs to find, trying to make it look nonchalant.

“It was an accident,” Big Boar says, lips turning down into a frown. “I’ve really gotten a lot better.”

Flashframe snorts. “Take this one in without breaking anything and we’ll see who’s better.”

“Oh,” Jimena says dropping to the floor, clutching her shoulder. “Ow, ow, ow, I think you broke my arm!” She pushes her hand back against the floor like she’s stabilizing herself. She begins to inch it under the metal shelf closest to her.

“Incident,” Flashframe sing-songs from outside the vault.

“I barely touched her!” Big Boar steps towards her and looks frantically between her and Flashframe. “She’s faking, I just–”

Several things happen at once. Big Boar reaches towards her with a large, gloved hand. Jimena’s eyes widen and her power sparks, telling her that she’s found what she’s looking for. She grabs it, takes a moment to realize that it’s moving, and throws it into Big Boar’s face before he can touch her.

“What?” Big Boar asks, hand that had been previously reaching towards her, flying to his face. “What did-?” The ball of spiders she’d thrown at him bursts open and hundreds of arachnids swarm across his face, onto his hand and shoulders, and under his clothes.

After that, there’s just a lot of screaming.

Jimena snatches up her bag as she jerks upright. It’s not full but that’s hardly the priority right now. Big Boar is staggering around the room, tearing at his hair, skin, and clothes in a desperate attempt to brush off all the spiders. He even rips his mask off, which she pretends not to see as she books it for the exit.

“Not so fast!” Flashframe shouts. The heroine throws her arms wide, eyes glowing white with her power. “I won’t let you escape!”

A bright light takes over Jimena’s vision, disorienting her completely. She can’t see the way out of the vault, can’t make out whether Flashframe is standing to the left or right.

I need to find a way out, she thinks to herself desperately. I need to find the exit. She charges forward, eyes squeezed shut, and hopes for the best.

———————————————–

“I am way better at this than I thought,” she says later, alone in her apartment and icing her shoulder. Around her lies four bags stuffed with money and parts of her costume. “Way better.”

She’s still a little in shock that she’d escaped from an A rank and a C rank hero with just a bruised shoulder to show for it. She hadn’t known that her power could work that way, that she could find even incorporeal things like exits or fears.

She also hadn’t know how awesome the adrenaline rush would be.

“It’s just until Mr. Rural quits,” she says, moving her ice pack around so it touches a new bruise. She winces at the pain. “Just until then.”

—————————————————–

“Are you leaving, Mr. Rural?” Jimena asks two weeks later, lips pursed. Her head is pounding from yet another late night of making sure Mr. Rural is as unhappy as possible in his new occupation.

Mr. Rural smiles tiredly at her. “Not… not today. Just getting some coffee.” He walks past her desk, pauses, and turns back. “Listen, I know I’ve been… a little absent recently. I just want you to know that I appreciate you picking up the slack these past few weeks. I’ll be back full force starting tomorrow, okay?”

“Thank you, Mr. Rural,” she says professionally. She watches him make his way to the break room, wide shoulders bumping into the door frame when he doesn’t pay enough attention.

That’s it then, she thinks. He’s given up.

Instead of feeling triumphant, however, Jimena just feels…disappointed?

“It might be time to stop lying to myself,” she mutters. Her shoulder no longer aches and that had been the only time Big Boar had actually managed to hit her.

“What was that?” Mr. Rural asks, passing by her desk with a full cup of coffee.

“It’s time to call Mr. Halt back,” she says smoothly. “Line two.”

——————————————————–

“Let me get this straight,” Loyda says, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Mr. Rural quit being a hero.”

Jimena shifts in her chair and doesn’t make eye contact. “Technically, yes.”

Loyda takes a deep breath. “But you’re not going to stop all this.” She waves a hand to encompass the bags of money, jewels and priceless artifacts littering Jimena’s apartment.

“Technically no.”

“You’re going to wind up in prison,” Loyda tells her, folding her arms. “Super-max, never-see-your-mom-again prison.”

“I’ll find a way out,” Jimena says, snapping her fingers. When Loyda does nothing but stare at her, Jimena drops her hands. “I know you’re worried, but I’m really good at this. I don’t think I can stop.”

Loyda, after a long moment, sighs forcefully through her nose. “I’ll be your accomplice on one condition.”

Jimena sits upright, a bright smile breaking across her face. “What condition?”

“Let me find you some minions,” Loyda says. “There’s no way you survive this on your own.”

“Henchmen,” Jimena corrects. “Not minions. And I agree as long as they don’t expect me to step on them or anything.”

“What?”

“To Craigslist!”