been reading about sexuality and sexual arousal, it's absolutely fascinating stuff, definitely rewiring my brain.

• Saw someone argue that thinking about things in term of heterosexual, homosexual, etc., is reductive, that at best gay and straight are labels we use to categorize ourselves rather than things that actually exist ('we are gay because we experience same-sex attraction', not 'we experience same-sex attraction because we are gay').
• Also said that categorizing ourselves by which sex we are attracted to is reductive because we aren't attracted to that sex, we are always only attracted to some people of that sex, and that factors like age, race, gender identity, gender performance, body-type, and physical features are just as important (nevermind personality, relationship dynamics, clothing, personal habits, personal grooming, occupation, location, power dynamic, cultural and historical backgrounds, etc.,)
• Same book argued that there's no meaningful distinction between fetishes and the 'ordinary' mechanisms by which people experience sexual arousal. That anything that elicits sexual arousal is a fetish and that some are just more accepted than others.
• That procreation is not the purpose (or rather, sole purpose) of sex, and that we should move away from thinking of it as such. The book didn't say what other purposes it may have, but I can only assume social bonding must be up there. Accepting social bonding as just as valid a reason to have sex as procreation would mean we no longer have to view same-sex attraction as deviant, as something that has to be explained.
• Another book argued that by creating the labels of 'homosexual,' we essentially created the gay community, that sexuality is an invention of the 19th c., as is sexuality as an identity (gay sex used to be something you did, now gay is something you are.) At the same time, it's a mistake to think that historically, sexual acts couldn't be seen as being informed by someone's identity or morphology.
• Both books pretty much outright state that sexuality, race, and gender are historically linked, and that you cannot consider one without considering the others. Which is to say, they're all flawed attempts to categorize and explain human differences.

Anyway, you should read them.

https://www.jstor.org/stable/10.1525/j.ctt2204r8x

see also: The Invention of Heterosexuality

This is wonderful.

For people who can’t see the image for some reason:

It’s a “Dear Abby” column, published in 1995. The letter writer, “Not Looking for a Girlfriend in New Jersey,” identifies as a 53 year old male virgin with no interest in either women or men, despite coworkers having assumptions that his lack of a family means he must be gay.

This man expresses no concern about his situation (other than the presumed exhaustion at being continually misidentified), and suggests he was writing simply so other people could see that “a man who had no interest in sex” exists.

Abby blows it out of the ballpark with her response:

People who have no sexual feelings are called “asexual.” Since it doesn’t appear to bother you, it should present no problem. You are accountable to no one except yourself [emphasis mine].

Here we have the bastion of middle American, the “nice White lady with all the answers”, normalizing this man’s experience and literally telling him to ignore the haters. Pre Millennium. She even calmly supplies this man with the language to identify himself, since he seems not to have encountered it before; that must have been so empowering for him, to have a word for his experience and identity, and to hear that others shared it.

Everyone, you are valid, and your identity is accountable to no one except yourself.

Finally ready to confess that when I first watched The Sandman, because of a combination of things I remembered from the comics (Lucien) and things I had forgotten (that he used to be a raven) I simply assumed that I was meant to read Lucienne as a trans woman from her first appearance (I will allow that I had newly-acquired brain damage at the time so this was maybe not the most obvious conclusion to jump to) and then I took her later comment about how she used to be something else as full confirmation of this.

I assumed Dream didn't say anything because y'know, there were bigger things going on and it was not the most difficult thing in the world to simply roll with and maybe he was even delighted! He looked both so happy and so surprised to see her, y'know?

Anyway then I wandered into the fandom and wondered why no one else was talking about this. To me, in my little newly-damaged brain, it was the single most exciting thing that had ever happened on television?? So I also didn't say anything because that made me nervous.

Took me weeks to realise that I had misread the situation a bit but you know? I'm still a little married to the headcanon that Lucienne transed her gender while Dream wasn't looking and he didn't even bat an eyelid.

Love is many things but it is also an agreement where both parties state their needs, their expectations, their limits. Both must be honest with each other and themselves, and go in with eyes wide open. Things must be talked out loud, and not assumed. Hurts must not be allowed to fester and anything that bothers or upsets you must be brought out to the light even if it is difficult. Communication must always remain open and vibrant for change is inevitable and these conversations must be had constantly. If there comes a time you cannot come to an understanding then please part before bitterness and hurt take over and obliterate every good memory from both of your hearts. Love is an agreement, a pact, a promise, something that must be held in reverence and honored by those involved. 

e.v.e.

ORVILLE PECK

by BRETT LOUDERMILK for Paper Magazine (June 2024)

also when you see fat people doing things do you know you can just say nothing to them or about them!! You can just shut up!!! You see a fat person at the gym? You can shut up! A fat person eating fast food? You can be quiet!!! A fat person on a hike? You can zip those lips! A fat person who’s out of breath or a fat person who wow you didn’t know fat people could be that athletic? Shut the fuck up!!!!! You can just not comment on fat people doing things ever!!!!! It’s free!! It’s easy!!!! No one will miss what you had to say !!!!!!!!!!

"Historical lesbian" is goals.

We need a category for “well executed cool concept” besides “art”

Do we? The item is basically a cool thing to look at, what purpose does it serve besides art?

"Based on data gleaned from the nearly 10 million military dependents it insures, the U.S. Department of Defense has repeatedly called the evidence supporting ABA “weak,” noting there is no research to determine whether the small number of participants who show improvement — 15% — do so because of treatment or simply because a child has matured. After a year of the therapy, the department reported to Congress in 2019, 76% of 16,000 participating autistic children saw no change, and 9% worsened."

Okay before we get anyone on here saying "water is wet", here are some other bullet points about the article.

• The article uses proper terminology and actually defines stimming, masking, and many other words that neurotypical people may or may not know (re autism)
• The data that the article is based off of includes first hand accounts from autistic people who have gone through ABA. The researchers even used ASAN (autism self advocacy) as a resource! Actual autistic people shared their stories!!! And they believed us!!!!!
• It explains WHY autistic people have a hard time with ABA, which is incredible. Not just the fact that it's akin to training a dog, but the psychology of it, and how it's overstimulating and degrading
• There's a part that does quote from Auti$m $peaks spokespeople, BUT it's because they're leading into how neurotypical parents see ABA most often as a "saving grace" to get a "normal child" and then goes on to tell more about how autistic children perceive ABA, both during and after treatment
• One family's story tells of how a mother noticed her autistic son would actually hide when she went to turn the computer on for ABA therapy (this was during COVID lockdown) and how she realized something was off because of that. She canceled ABA and found an alternative (called Floor Time) where the child actually directs the play, and the therapist/teacher goes along with what the kid wants/does!
• There's a really cool bit on why ABA is usually the only thing available to parents, and the answer is Shitty American Healthcare/Insurance Companies!
• It notes that ABA therapists don't really have strict training requirements. You can do a quick online course and become an ABA therapist. It does not require a college degree. That should horrify you.
• There's another parallel study with its own data coming out in 2025

Honestly, this whole article is a gem. Remember, while "water is wet" studies seem trivial, we need them in order to get our side of the story taken seriously. Research with credible data that backs up what we've been saying is important!

TL; DR?

Huge study with lots of input from autistic people tells us ABA sucks!

Thank you for this addition. A better encouragement for this article than I managed!

Also the thing about 'water is wet' statements is that when it comes to attempting to change actual policy, especially in health care, and especially when convincing insurance companies to for out the cash for something, statements of 'this is obviously bad' or 'everyone knows x or y' don't cut it.

If you want to change something that's a policy, or even just a convention, then you need to prove that there is reason to make that change.

I'm in archaeology and had a student tell me a study we were discussing was pointless because 'everyone knows people had bad teeth back then', only to not be able to answer when I asked 'how do we know for sure if we don't count the bad teeth?'

Studies like the one in the article are massive achievements because it's a huge dataset and it is providing the actual data to back up the 'water is wet' statements. Now when someone, especially an insurance company, tries to suggest that ABA is the only therapy that could possibly be offered, you can point to this study and go 'why are you paying for shit that doesn't work?'.

This! Is! An! Amazing! Addition!

The average eighteen-month-old autistic child who is exposed to 40 hours of ABA per week will be expected to surpass the severe
threshold of the PTSD criteria within six weeks, given 1.5% lifetime exposure. The average three-year-old autistic child who is exposed to twenty hours of ABA per week will be expected to surpass the severe threshold of the PTSD criteria within five months of ABA exposure. The average five-year-old autistic child who is exposed to ten hours of ABA per week will be expected to surpass the severe threshold of the PTSD criteria before their seventh birthday.

from kupferstein, 2018, "evidence of increased ptsd symptoms in autistics exposed to applied behavior analysis"

like, i knew this, but actually looking at someone having done The Math about it is staggering.

Prev:

#the sample was 460 people which is ok but not huge#the abstract doesn’t say what ptsd symptoms they asked about which I’d like to know#but the fact that the association is consistent across both#teen/adult autistic people filling out the survey on their own#and parents of autistic kids filling it out on their kid’s behalf#is pretty impressive

HOLD THE LINE!! KEEP PUSHING!!!!!

Sorry babes but as someone who lived lug around 500 cds they can die. To me lps are at least pretty and pretentious like a fine wine. Cds have no point

the point is cds are sexy as hell. sorry you dont know what sex is.

visual diagram btw ^

@danepopfrippery

The real point is that you OWN a CD. You do NOT own anything digital you purchase.

Google Play stole hundreds of dollars worth of music I paid them for from me by forcing me to upload it to YouTube Music (or lose it entirely) which is behind a subscription paywall, requiring me now to pay more money every month if I want to listen to MY music I PAID for without constant advertising.

You do not own anything digitally purchased. It can be taken back from you at any time and it is fully legal for big corporations to do so for some reason.

CDs can't be taken from you unless they come into your house or car in person to physically pry them out of your cold dead hands.

That's why the resurgence. As funny as that person's reply to you was, it's not in fact because they look sexy. It's because you actually own them.

Look- CDs are your friend. CD-ROMs and CD drives with the capacity to burn? Are your friends with benefits.

Can anyone teach me how to burn Digital only songs into CDs?

i can ask my dad!! i think you need a certain piece of hardware, but i dont think its difficult!

not rn tho hes asleep

I would love that thank you!!

here you go!!

My contribution to the discussion

My burner in my old desktop works like this:

Empty cd in the slot

Open cd on desktop

Drag music files in

Done

I spent so many hours burning CDs in high school. AND I STILL HAVE THEM. IN A CD FOLDER IN MY CAR. Because sometimes I drive through the mountains and lose cell reception and can no longer stream Spotify over bluetooth.

CDs are useful, my lambs.

Also this whole thread has made me feel Very Over 30.

Nursing home staff finding ways to keep their charges engaged and entertained.

Slingshot on the walker is my fav I think.

From the LESBERADOS series (1989) by Del Lagrace Volcano

@onenicebugperday