Avatar

Storms always stress out my cat. He hates thunder, heavy rain, strong gusts of wind, pretty much any loud noise he can hear — he either ends up hiding under the bed or wandering about and yelling mournfully until the bad weather stops.

Unless, that is, he is sandwiched between me and the back of the couch. If he is thoroughly squished, he chills out and starts purring. He purposefully puts himself in that position, too: if he’s not squished enough for his liking, he will wedge himself further against my side until he is.

He doesn’t like to be touched directly very much, and he’ll turn into a snapping turtle if I try to pet him in this state, so sometimes I roll onto my side so he can be squished between my back and the couch cushions without having to worry about being disturbed. And then whenever he’s done he can just wriggle his way out and lay by my feet instead.

Anyway this is making me imagine Chuuya using Dazai as a weighted blanket during storms and jamming himself up against Dazai’s side even when there isn’t much room, because it feels safer that way. That sometimes Chuuya needs to be completely squished by another person in order to chill out (perhaps partly because the feeling of a human pressed up beside him, warm and solid, is enough to remind his subconscious that he’s not back in N’s lab. Not suspended in liquid, not tied up and impaled and shocked. Maybe he used to sleep in piles with the other kids in the Sheep, only to lose that reassurance once he joined the Port Mafia, and he doesn’t even know why he’s become so anxious and untethered until he rediscovers that comfort later)

…Of course, despite needing that comfort, he will bite Dazai’s fingers if Dazai tries to poke him.

Avatar

Dazai: Hey Yosano, could I borrow a set of handcuffs? The strongest ones you have.

Yosano: Of course you can! You and Chuuya got something fun planned tonight?

Dazai: Oh it's not for that.

Dazai: *cuffs Atsushi and Akutagawa together*

Dazai: You'll find the key at the end of the scavenger hunt I've prepared!

Avatar

"And even if he was considering such absurd things, it just wasn’t possible. There was no way that Dazai would ever offer up that kind of thing for Mori to use. He can picture exactly how it would go, how Mori would twist the thing between them to get the reactions he wanted. Everything about them would become part of his game, everything would be manipulation. 

Dazai would rather have nothing than have that.

Still, sometimes when Chuuya did things like kidnap him and sing to him in stolen vans in front of the ocean with the sun illuminating him and his voice being the only thing Dazai was focused on, it’s hard to remember all that."

I've recently started reading I Was Screaming Your Name Through The Radio because I was in a band au mood and I'm loving it so so much. This little passage from chapter 4 struck a chord with me and I wanted to draw something for it!

You are using an unsupported browser and things might not work as intended. Please make sure you're using the latest version of Chrome, Firefox, Safari, or Edge.