“Look, I had no idea vampires were real. Why would I have believed that?”

“We only travel at night,” Jamie says. He looks around to Daria for support. “You’ve never seen either of us in daylight.”

Carmen scratches the back of her neck. “I thought maybe Daria was allergic to the sun or something. ‘Cause she’s so pale.”

Daria is looking at her like she’s never seen her before. “You’re a witch.”

“Duh,” Carmen says. “But just because I exist doesn’t mean you do. I mean, I’ve never seen any evidence of vampires before.

“We made you get rid of your silver jewelry,” Daria says.

“I thought that was because it’d attract muggers,” Carmen says. She shifts from foot to foot. “So I guess you guys aren’t drinking a lot of cranberry juice then?”

“No,” Jamie says flatly. “That’s blood.” He starts to say something else and stops. Raises a finger, opens his mouth, and deflates. Finally says, “What--what do you think we hired you for?”

“Well,” Carmen says, fiddling with her witch’s pouch around her waist, “in light of recent revelations, I’d rather not say.”

Daria and Jamie glance at each other. “I really think you need to say,” Daria says.

“Agreed,” says Jamie, folding his arms over his chest.

Carmen mumbles something under her breath.

“Extreme what?” Daria asks.

Carmen throws her hands up in the air. “Extreme LARPing okay? Live action roleplaying! I mean, what did you guys think when I stipulated no romantic relationships?” She looks mortified. “I told you guys my hard limits.”