Postpartum Depression

Having a baby can be the most beautiful, yet frightening experience of your life. The decisions you make in those early foundation years form the basis of your relationship with your child. Having a baby changes your world upside down; whether it was planned or not, or whether you wanted it or not. While feelings of happiness and joy on childbirth may be the only feelings for some, 40% of women and 26% of men (in India) have additional feelings of depression. For some people working through different emotions and feelings is not as easy. This depression does not mean that you don’t love the child, it does not mean you are weak or selfish, it only means that you are different. Untreated postpartum depression can lead to poor relationships between you, your child and spouse.

So what is postpartum depression? If you feel a majority of these emotions, then you are going through postpartum depression. Feelings associated with postpartum depression, but not restricted to, usually are guilt, worry, frustration, confusion, stress, irritation, sadness, being overwhelmed, upset, emptiness, hopelessness, tiredness, anger and rage. It is common to become obsessed and possessive about every detail of your baby or distance yourself from your baby. It is also common to plan every detail and ensure that you are busy all the time because anxiety is eating at you. It is not uncommon to want to cry, scream and have disturbed thoughts associated with running away or ending everything. In some cases, the parent may unconsciously want to abandon the child or may cause harm to the child. Postpartum Depression also leads to physical symptoms such as nausea, stomach aches, headaches, loss of appetite and insomnia. Signs and Symptoms of postpartum depression are not the same for everyone, so you may not feel all of this, but if you associate with a majority of it you have developed postpartum depression. In severe cases, postpartum depression leads to Panic Attacks, Chronic Anxiety and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Don’t feel judged; seek help because it can be treated.

Misconceptions about postpartum depression: It is a common misconception that postpartum depression just goes away with time. In fact, postpartum depression is not a myth, an excuse or attention-seeking behaviour. Alternatively, it grows inside you rendering your mental and physical health incapable of working through guilt, anger and frustration. It forges poor relationships with the child and spouse and gradually deteriorates your relationship with your network of family. Another common misconception is that postpartum depression only affects women. The truth is that men are just as susceptible to it. Yes, pregnancy and child-birth lead to more physical work for women, but men are just as burdened by it as it is just as life-changing for them too. Besides the symptoms mentioned above, men tend to engage in reckless behaviour and drown themselves in work. If one spouse has postpartum depression, the other has 50% chances of developing it as well.

Recognise the signs and symptoms in your partner, sibling, family or friends. Instead of dismissing them with, “how can you get postpartum depression, you have family support”, “you read about any new disease and you have it”, “sab theek ho jayega” (everything will be fine), “give it time”, “be strong”; empower them by recommending a therapist. Psychotherapy is extremely beneficial for working through postpartum depression. Don’t suffer alone, seek therapeutic relief. Overcoming postpartum depression leads to better relationships with your partner, family and especially your child. Choose to strengthen your relationships-they are the very foundation of life.

Dr. Lubhana Malik

(PhD, MFT, MSc.)