Cool Natalie's Cool Blog

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
Natalie's Cool Website :)
The official home on the web for award-winning speculative fiction author Natalie H. Ironside, queen of queer pulps
Natalie's Cool Website :)

(icon by @neladoesart)

Hi! I’m Natalie. I’m trans of gender and ace of sexual and I write dark fantasy and dark sci-fi adventure stories full of boners and thud-and-blunder action violence wherein no swash remains unbuckled, nor pot unboiled. I also blog about books and history and languages and I write essays and poetry sometimes, and don’t forget about the many exciting Age of Empires 2 scenarios available at Natalie’s Cool Website.

You might have heard my short story The Wishing Tree on the Tales to Terrify podcast! (now available as a zine from Grinning Kitten Press). Other stuff I’ve published to date includes:

THE LAST GIRL SCOUT: A post-apocalyptic wasteland adventure story and transbian romance about two women who fall in lesbians together and fight Nazis and draculas in the bombed-out ruins of Old America

LEAD AND ROSES: LOVE SONGS AT THE END OF THE WORLD: A collection of short fiction set within 23rd-century post-nuclear wasteland we’ve all come to know and love

IN THE COURT OF THE NAMELESS QUEEN: A collection of dark fantasy f/f erotica about sexy swashbuckling swordswomen (both cis and normal) and a giant scary monster lady in a far-off realm of adventure and dark magic.

If you’re curious I’d really like it if you’d check out my Patreon because there’s even more fantabulous treasures on there and you can subscribe for the low, low price of just one American dollar. Your one American dollar will go toward the ever topical “Natalie can make rent and doesn’t starve” philanthropy fund.

I’m gonna stay here on Tumblr until they forcibly remove me from the premises, but I’m also on Pillowfort, Bluesky, and Cohost

:)

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natalieironside
natalieironside

What is a man?  A miserable little pile of comorbid mental illnesses.

natalieironside

“Do you drink?” the man had asked, taking a big sip of his Code Red™ mountain dew.

Viscount Dracula laughed like a man (or in this case a dracula) about to say something he thought was very clever, and he had said, “I don’t drink … mountain dew.”

Brief sneak previews of my upcoming novel Dracula 2

eisheth

I’d read it

cryptotheism
cryptotheism

My writing career started thanks to this little local Mexican restaurant that had a cheap-ass breakfast combo deal. It was 5$ for a coffee + beans + rice + one taco of my choosing. I always got a single Alambre taco. For damn near a year of my life I had that every single morning. Starting out, that's what the patreon money went to. I would sit there for four hours and write while I had my coffee and an Alambre taco. I think tacos Alambre are still my favorite food to this day.

They're actually a fusion cuisine, with their origins in Mexico's substantial Lebanese diaspora. It's finely cubed steak cooked with bacon, peppers, and onions, and topped with oaxaca. Originally, the steak was cooked on wires or skewers as was the Lebanese style, but it was adapted to be finished in the bacon fat with the peppers. The green tomatillo salsa is generally quite spicy.

I wanna learn how to make it like that place did.

dionysia
lakemojave
lakemojave

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AFFILIATE CELEBRATION STREAM THIS FRIDAY!!!

I've been streaming for like 4 years now! That's pretty cool! This friday we're all gonna get together and help me celebrate, talk about all the cool stuff the channel has put out since last July, then I'm gonna play 2 of my favorite games! Well, more like my favorite game ever and the one that happens to come before it. It's gonna be a good night! See y'all then!